The Other Side of the Looking Glass
by SkyStrider
Summary: Nerima becomes a Wonderland for the wedding of Kasumi and Tofu, but it's Tatewaki Kuno who has fallen down the Rabbit Hole. Come see what happens when Kuno finally ticks off the wrong person: Humor, drama, and a little parody...
1. Mara-Nari

The usual disclaimer: Ranma ½ is a trademark of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Communications, and its characters have been borrowed without permission. This story was written for non-commercial purposes only.

While this story follows the "Kasumi's Fate" ("Bindings") Chronicles, it's not necessary to have read any of the previous stories. You do need to know a few things though:

1) Both Tatewaki and Kodachi Kuno have been banished to Hokkaido by their uncle, Toshio Kuno, who is the powerful head of the Kuno family.

2) Kodachi Kuno has had her "showdown" with Ranma and has started to come to terms with her life. She also understands Ranma's nature now, and that he and Akane love each other. As you'll see from this story, she has also done a bit of research into their backgrounds. If you want any more info, please see the story "The Final Binding".

3) Ranma has been adopted into the Ono clan by Tofu's mother, Kin Ono.

4) Kasumi and Tofu are engaged and due to be married within two weeks.

5) Ranma and Akane are happily engaged now and are united soul-to-soul leading to some very interesting implications.

6) Mousse has been broken of his love for Shampoo (in a very vicious manner). Mousse has also been adopted by Mrs. Ono. Shampoo is now on-the-run from the Amazons.

7) The character Mara/Nari was introduced in "The Destruction of Ranma Saotome – Ignition". The only relevance to this story is that she's had history with Ranma (and Genma).

8) Genma resides permanently in the Nerima Zoo. His marriage to Nodoka was annulled – and rather completely at that. There are no records of the marriage anywhere. For more info see "The Destruction of Ranma Saotome – Detonation".

9) Ranma and Akane have discovered that their Chi abilities have developed enough to control their environment. Ranma is considered a Wind Mage and Akane is a Fire Mage.

That's it – the rest can be picked up from the story. If you're curious about the other stories in the Bindings Chronicles, my profile has the list of stories in order.

* * *

Chapter 1: Mara/Nari

Nari was picking up the mess in her shop when the gentleman walked in. He was a tall man with graying hair, dressed in a very sharp three-piece suit. He looked around and sighed. "I see I'm in the right place," he said with resignation.

Nari looked at the man sharply. He was not the moron's father, but he was related. "Get the hell out," she snapped.

He winced. "Please ma'am. I realize you're angry and my nephew is an idiot, but please hear me out."

"I'm not dropping the charges!" she snarled.

"I'm not asking you to," the man responded. "He struck you and trashed your shop. He can stay in jail for a bit. I'm not posting bail."

"So what the hell do you want?" she snapped again.

"I'd like you not to curse his family!" Toshio Kuno pled. "His sister is finally healing and I'd like her to stay that way!"

Nari looked at the man warily. "What are you prattling about?" she hissed.

Kuno looked directly at the young woman. She appeared to be about 25 years-old with a face that most would call pretty, except for the very deep cut across her cheek. He said: "I know who and what you are, just like I know who Mara was – or rather is, Healer Umi."

"My name is Nari –" she started.

"Which is an alias," he cut her off. "Just like Mara is an alias. You faked your death five years ago and arranged to pass this shop to yourself – as you have done over and over again. You are the Healer Umi, which was the name you took when you first setup this shop so long ago. I'm not going to insult you by saying we are on par, but I'm not a complete idiot and I have my moments of brilliance – and idiocy like right now."

Nari stared at him for a few moments, and then her look changed to one of amused contempt. "And if I was such an immortal creature, that would make me very dangerous – especially if you knew my secret. What makes you think you can survive an encounter with me?" she laughed.

"The six ninjas surrounding this place with RPG's," he answered coolly.

"You are bluffing," she laughed again. "Why deal with me at all if you think you can just eliminate me?"

"A few reasons," Toshio replied calmly. "One: The destruction of your shop would look suspicious, especially after an encounter with Tatewaki. Two: It's a little hard to deal with someone if you've already killed them, and one never knows what the future brings. Three: My ninjas might miss."

"Personally, that sounds like I have you over a barrel," she challenged haughtily.

"Not really. The first two don't apply if I'm dead or insane, and my ninjas might not miss," he shot back. She made a face and gave a grudging nod. He then said. "But the rockets are only to guarantee my safety, not enforce a bargain. I am wiser than that. You will either accept or deny the bargain on its own merit. As much as I hate to admit this, I am still the petitioner. But you will hear me out before you pitch me from your shop; you're too much of a mage to skip at least hearing the bargain."

Nari's appearance changed as she grew to match Kuno's height and her eyes became yellow cat eyes. The face became shallower and green. Her shoulders broadened and her finger nails grew into claws. Kuno looked coolly into her eyes, apparently unfazed by the changes. She laughed hoarsely and made a gesture. A chair pulled up behind Kuno. He sat down as she hopped up to sit on her counter after pushing some of the debris away to make space. Nari pointed at the gash still very visible on her cheek and stated: "All right, little lord, we bargain. But blood demands blood. What do you offer to repay this insult?"

"Twelve pints of virgin human blood," Toshio started.

Nari snorted contemptuously. "You'd sacrifice a virgin to protect your niece? Someone like that is sure to break a bargain. Besides, there's only an average of ten pints in the human body – and what happened to the metric system?"

"I never said the blood would be from one virgin," Toshio countered. "I can mix the blood from twelve different people together, so long as it's all the same blood type. Besides, then you can't use it to control any of the twelve. I'm a big fan of free will."

"But then the blood has limited use," Nari replied.

Toshio pretended to look thoughtful. "I could sweeten the deal with six knots of ginseng," he added.

The scorching look Nari gave him would have killed a lesser man, but he faced her unblinkingly. "The use of that measure was not a coincidence," she hissed.

"No it's not," he answered. "Do we have a deal?"

"No, I want the toughest ingredient to get!" she croaked.

"Then I offer two mandrake roots, gathered at the first full moon to follow the Summer Solstice as well. Do we have a deal?" he asked.

"No!" she snarled. "The spell calls for three mandrake roots and you know that somehow!"

"Pity," he said standing up. "I'll leave you in peace then and keep my silence. Maybe we can bargain another day."

"WAIT," she commanded. "You knew the spell components coming here. You have the three. What else do you want besides sparing your niece and her descendants?"

"You have to leave me and mine alone," he replied. "So you cannot take any vengeance for the bargain either."

Nari burst out with a hideous laugh as she said: "Well played, little lord. Well played. You've obviously studied all the old tales about me and my kind. You've covered your backside. Fine. Deal accepted. Twelve pints of virgin blood, six knots of ginseng, and three properly gathered mandrake roots in return for no vengeance on your niece and her descendants or you and yours." She hopped off the table. "You have until the Winter Solstice to deliver!"

"Deal. I can get everything here by then," Kuno stated as he stood up as well.

"And just to show you no hard feelings, I'll even spare the girl's father," she cackled with a sparkle in her eyes. She laughed harder at his slight wince. "Oh, I saw through that little play, Lord Kuno. I won't be your assassin. You loved the girl's mother, even though she chose your brother. You want the girl as your child, which can never happen as long as your brother lives. Still, he is your brother, and you won't give the order. So, she stays your niece," Nari insisted.

Kuno just shrugged. "At least she lives," he replied.

"True, she does," Nari agreed. "And every day that goes by, she will look more and more like your sister-in-law."

Again, Kuno shrugged. "I have moved on, but sometimes a memory should be honored. It's one more regret that I have, but I can live with it."

He started to move to the door, when Nari spoke again, this time with surprise: "What? You'll not bargain for her son?"

Kuno half-turned and said: "And what bargain could I make? What would you accept?"

Nari thought for a second and admitted: "Nothing. No one strikes me and gets away with it." Her shape shrank back to her human form. The time of bargaining had ended.

Kuno held up his hands in surrender and said bitterly: "Despite my best efforts, he's finally gone too far. I've tried to have him treated, but his megalomania is too far out-of-bounds. He's even planning to kill the woman he loves because she loves someone else. He screams about how she is his and nobody else's – she will bow to him or die. I know this poor young lady. He's made her suffer enough, and I've had enough. Her life is hard enough without this idiocy – she doesn't deserve this, and neither does the one she loves. I'm a hard taskmaster, but I'm not completely heartless."

He continued: "The only thing I can plead on his behalf is to let the Human Courts of Law punish him. My lawyers will be advising him to plead 'Guilty.' He will probably reject this and put on a great show in front of the judge professing his exaltedness and superiority over everyone else. The judge will quickly decide he is insane and lock him away for the rest of his life. If he somehow escapes with a slap on the wrist, I'm still going to have him declared insane and locked away. If he escapes, I have to have him either captured or killed. I have no other options, he's too dangerous. He could end up destroying me, and that's not a chance I'm willing to take."

Kuno took a deep breath and finished: "You want to kill him? That might be kinder. You want to have him disgrace his family's name – he's already done that and does not care. Want him to be humiliated? He's too lost in himself. Want to drive him insane? He's already there. As it is, I may have to assassinate him as an act of mercy." With that, Toshio Kuno turned and left the shop.

* * *

That night, Nari/Mara/Umi sat in her bed contemplating Kuno's parting words. She was still angry at the younger Kuno, but had to admit the elder Kuno was right. Tatewaki Kuno was insane. He did suffer from a universe-spanning ego and believed he was one of the last true Samurai Lords on Earth. Everyone was subject to him, especially Akane Tendo, Ranma of Nerima's beloved.

Mara was loathed to tamper with Ranma's life anymore. She had gambled that Ranma would beat Henna's potion and he had. Still, she now had a karma balance to pay to him. Not only that, he was one of the Children of the Balance, as was Akane Tendo. They were in the center of some major power flows and anyone who messed with them could get burned badly. Mara risked inviting the scrutiny of the Powers of this World if she interfered with Ranma or Akane again.

Still, Tatewaki Kuno had to be punished. It was bad precedent to allow someone to strike her and get away with it – and she didn't want to keep this new scar. "Killing him would be a mercy," she thought. "Another bad precedent. He's going to be locked up soon, so that's no good. Endless pain is so unimaginative. I need a way to punish him, but how do you punish someone who is insane? He will just view any punishment as something to overcome to prove his greatness. He is so wrapped in his illusions…"

She stopped and smiled. She hopped out of bed and ran to the bookshelf. Nari ran her fingers down the spines until she found the one she was looking for. "He believes in nonsense, let's give him nonsense," she thought. Nari then ran to the phone. It wasn't too late. Maybe Toshio Kuno was still awake. She could yet cut another bargain with him…

* * *

Toshio stood staring out the window at the snow covered courtyard at the Hokkaido estate. "Damn it!" he swore. "I've tried. I've had the best doctors around look at him. I've even had Ono look at him. I've had him tested against every medicine there is." Toshio sourly remembered what one doctor told him: That Tatewaki didn't want to be cured. The boy believed the world was broken, not him.

Legions had tried to help. Even Tatewaki's immediate family had tried to help. Before Toshio took the youngest Kuno away to Canada, the young lady had tried to talk Tatewaki out of his obsession with Ranko and Akane Tendo. "It was a good effort," he remembered. "She tried to steer him down a new path, but he refuses to leave Akane alone." He thought back to the videotape he watched a few weeks ago…

* * *

"Where do you think you are going, Sister?" Tatewaki asked her. He had seen a ninja carrying two suitcases toward her room and followed the man. Kodachi was packing when he entered the room.

"I am going to Canada for a bit, Brother Dearest. There are people I need to see there," she answered vaguely as she opened the empty suitcases and nodded her thanks to the ninja.

"You've been skipping your medicines again, Kodachi," Tatewaki snorted. "Our dear uncle will never let us leave this wasteland."

Kodachi studied her brother for a moment and seem to be debating her answer. Finally, she started packing again and said: "Actually, Uncle Toshio is going with me. He's going to help me get settled and make some long overdue introductions."

"What!" Tatewaki exclaimed. "It's a trap, Kodachi! He is going to imprison you overseas, away from the Family. He'll have total control over you!"

Kodachi rolled her eyes. "Look around, Tatewaki. He already has total control," she snorted in turn. "Actually, I'm going somewhere he'll have less control. I won't be beyond his reach, but I will have a bit more freedom. He and I have talked and we both agree I need a change of scenery."

"Is this a plan to sneak back to Nerima?" he asked suspiciously. "It won't work! He has the whole town under surveillance."

"No, Brother Dearest," she sighed. "I won't be returning to Nerima until Spring at the earliest. I'm hoping to go back to school and complete my Senior Year. My younger classmates will still be there. With any luck, I can convince them to be my friends."

Tatewaki looked at his sister as if she had grown a second head. Then a devious gleam entered his eyes and he asked: "Will you then continue your pursuit of Saotome? You could claim his love."

Kodachi paused in her packing and seemed to be debating with herself. She sat on the bed and motioned for Tatewaki to have a seat while saying: "Please sit down Tate, we need to talk."

Her brother moved closer but refused the chair. "About what?" he asked.

"About Ranma, Ranko, and Akane," she answered.

"Don't tell me you believe Uncle's lies!" he snarled.

Kodachi closed her eyes for a moment and set her mouth as if grinding her teeth. Finally, she said: "Tate, go over to my computer and do what I tell you. Please?" she asked. With a distrustful look, he did so, and then followed her instructions. A screen popped up with the Royal Chrysanthemum.

Tatewaki's face went white. "Kodachi, is this what I think it is?" he asked.

"Yes, Brother. It's the Koseki, the National Registry," she said. "I hired one of the ninjas to obtain read-only access for me. I'm not sure Uncle knows. If he does, he didn't stop me. Go look at our family tree." She gave him the instructions to do so.

"I don't see anything unusual," he commented after a few minutes of studying it.

"There isn't. I just wanted you to see how complete it is," she said. "Now go look at the family tree for Akane Tendo."

"That's interesting," he said after a few moments. "Soun Tendo took his wife's name."

"Yes, he did," she agreed. "You know families who have an 'only child' that is female will often ask groom to do that. Kimiko Tendo had no siblings."

"All right," Tatewaki agreed while turning to her. "So what's your point?"

"Brother, where did Ranko Tendo come from?" she asked him.

"Why…" he started and then stopped. He swung back to the computer and paged through a few more screens. "How do I do a search for a name through all the families?" he asked harshly. Kodachi told him and he quickly scanned the results. "There are no hits in the right age range!" he half-shouted. "They are either too old or too young. You mean she's a foreigner? How is that possible if Kimiko is listed here as the child of two citizens? The family trees go back quite a ways!"

Kodachi rubbed her temple. "Brother, search for 'Ranma Saotome' please?" she asked.

"Two hits – both not the appropriate age," he said. "So he's a foreigner too? But his mother is Japanese! I've met her! You've met her!"

"Yes, I met Nodoka Saotome. She's actually from a family native to Hokkaido not too far from here. She has no son named Ranma Saotome though," Kodachi told him. "Her brother, Hayato, is the head of the Saotome family in Hokkaido. The family is very powerful here. They control a lot of the resort towns in the area and many ski lodges farther north."

"But she's in Nerima to be with her son, Ranma Saotome! She is married to Genma Saotome!" Tatewaki insisted.

"Are you calling the Emperor a liar?" Kodachi asked as she tapped the flower on the screen. That calmed the young man quickly. "You'll also find that Genma Saotome doesn't exist either."

"Oh come on!" Tatewaki said. "He's a fat dishonorable coward!"

"Yet, he's not a real person. Nodoka never married. He's a cheat, a deception, a lie," Kodachi sounded with absolute conviction.

"I don't understand…" Tatewaki sounded lost.

"The Emperor didn't understand either, so Kokyo sent their own man to Nerima: Judge Isao Sanu," Kodachi stated.

"Judge Sanu?" Tatewaki quizzed. "But he's Uncle's enemy!"

"Enemy is too strong a word. Let's just say he's one of Uncle's many opponents," Kodachi said instead. "Judge Sanu managed to unravel the web of intrigue – and magic."

"So there was magic involved!" Tatewaki said with some satisfaction.

"Yes, there was," Kodachi agreed. "But you're not going to like one of the key facts. It turns out one of my 'wild' accusations was actually partially true: Akane Tendo really is a sorceress."

Tatewaki became red in the face and bellowed: "HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE MY FIERCE TIGRESS OF BEING AN EVIL SORCERESS!"

Kodachi nailed Tatewaki with a mallet to make him quiet down. As he picked himself off the floor, Kodachi placed the mallet behind her back and bent over him. She said sweetly: "I never said she was an *evil* sorceress just now, Brother Dearest. Actually, she's a very noble sorceress, and a very powerful one. She's been practicing magic since grade school."

Tatewaki slowly climbed back into the chair, stunned in more ways than one. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked.

"Akane Tendo is capable of invoking some of the greatest magic known to man," Kodachi continued. "I've seen her power first hand. She can manipulate the elements and bend people and spirits to her will – how else do you think that she was able to defeat over forty attackers day after day and never tire? But because she is not evil, she believes great power begets great responsibility. She takes great pains to protect those that she loves and keeps them close to her while helping as many people as possible."

"You are lying, Sister! I'm stuck up here!" Tatewaki insisted.

"Why would I praise her then? Especially when I use to consider her my enemy? Surely you agree she's a noble person?" Kodachi insisted.

"Well of course she is!" Tatewaki said.

"Could a mere woman defeat forty warriors? And when she was done, she would dispatch you without out a thought? Have you ever wondered how she managed to do that and be able to go to class immediately afterward? And this happened day after day – none of you were ever a real challenge. This never struck you as odd?"

"But she's not a mere woman," he shot back. "She's…"

"Extraordinary," Kodachi cut him off. "Very extraordinary – that's what I've been telling you."

Tatewaki stared at Kodachi. He had a feeling his sister was speaking the truth to him, but he couldn't understand why. Honestly, the very fact that she seemed to be praising Akane Tendo was confusing the hell out of him.

Kodachi returned to her narrative: "So, you have forty men attacking her day after day without remorse, and she has to hurt them to get any peace. Do you think Akane Tendo enjoyed hurting them?" Tatewaki started to speak and then stopped. His face look troubled. "What's wrong Tate?" she prompted before the look vanished. "Were you about to say that they were pawns in your plans? Well, they weren't to Akane – they were people, and she was hurting them. Wouldn't that bother a 'good' person? If that happened day after day, wouldn't it just rip apart a good person's soul?" Kodachi asked sharply.

Tatewaki looked stubbornly at the ground. "Well then, she should have just submitted to me for protection!" he huffed.

"Oh, you were sending her people to hurt and she should reward you? She should bow to you? A person of such nobility?" Kodachi said with scorn. "Idiot!" His sister went on then: "No, I'm sure she thought of several other alternatives. After a few months of this nonsense, a mysterious creature appears from nowhere. It looks like a rather handsome male teenager, but fights like a demon. It says it's scared of cats, but when confronted with a tiger, it actually scares the tiger. Turns out, it can even control the very winds and seems to be unstoppable, no matter what magic is practiced against it. It is devoted to Akane, and watches over her constantly. You call it a foul demon, yet despite this accusation, it actually helps people though out Nerima and even saves others' life, causing me and several others to fall in love with it. A creature that seems to mirror Akane's spirit – noble and powerful. Within three days of this creature's appearance, the attacks against Akane stop and you are defeated – whether you admit it or not."

"Are you saying Ranma Saotome…" Tatewaki started.

Kodachi cut him off by saying: "Was a creature of great magic. It was neither male nor female and was not even fully human. It could change shape and assume attributes from animals. It appeared whenever she was in trouble such as when you were torturing her – almost as if it was summoned." She gave her brother a direct look. "It also had another primary form; a small red-haired female teenager. It would take whatever form was appropriate to stay close to Akane Tendo."

"No! She's real! I love her!" Tatewaki burst out.

"No, you don't," Kodachi returned coolly. She pointed at the computer. "You don't even know 'who' – or 'what' – she really is."

"The machine is lying – just like Uncle Toshio!" her brother burst out.

"Uncle Toshio did not lie to you," Kodachi corrected. "He just doesn't understand everything. But he was right when he said that Ranko Tendo was just an aspect of Ranma Saotome. Turns out Ranma Saotome was an aspect of something else – something not fully human. That database…" She paused and tapped the official seal again. "Is the real database. You can hire any detective to verify the information. For that matter, many lawyers will do the same." She fixed her brother with a glare. "There is no Ranma Saotome to pursue, and I would appreciate it very much if you never mention that name again. Likewise, there is no Ranko Tendo."

Tatewaki sat there troubled for several moments. Finally he brightened and said: "Well, if that is the case, then there is nothing to stop me from wedding Akane Tendo! I can go to Nerima and claim her."

Kodachi gritted her teeth and slugged her brother in the jaw. "Fool!" she shouted angrily. "She doesn't want you! She has set things up to keep you away! You go near her and the spirit behind Ranma/Ranko will appear to stop you. She keeps that spirit with her always!"

Tatewaki would have attacked back, but he was a little taken aback by her anger and her words. Kodachi went on: "Even if you could banish the spirit, she would never love you anyway! You're her torturer – her enemy!" Tatewaki eyes bulged at those words and his face swelled with rage. Kodachi spoke again quickly before he could spout any nonsense. "Now, because of that stunt you pulled at Nerima Hospital, the Emperor himself is aware of your treachery! (1) He just can't prove it because Uncle Toshio ran interference to protect the Family Name. But neither the Emperor nor Uncle Toshio is fooled! They both know you set up that attack on Akane Tendo!"

Actual concern crossed Tatewaki face at hearing the Emperor's title. Kodachi seemed to regain control. She said smoothly: "The Emperor, through Judge Sanu, has promised Akane Tendo that she may wed whoever she wants, provided that person agrees of their own free will. As soon as steps were taken to ensure her freedom, Akane promptly asked someone to marry her – someone from the Ono family. He accepted."

"But Tofu Ono loves Kasumi Tendo!" Tatewaki burst out.

"Yes, and he and Kasumi Tendo are still engaged to be married. Tofu Ono apparently has a brother. Akane met him over two years ago. She asked him, not Doctor Tofu," his sister said evenly. Tatewaki sat there with his mouth hanging open as she said: "She loves this brother very much, and he loves her. They will be wed as soon as they are legally able."

"He is just a poor substitute for me!" Tatewaki raged as he stood up out of Kodachi's range.

"Are you a sorcerer, brother?" Kodachi asked snidely. "The Ono's are a small but powerful family because magic runs in their veins. Uncle told me Doctor Tofu is actually a very powerful sorcerer as well as a very good medical doctor. Turns out, his little brother is also a sorcerer. Magic also runs in Kasumi Tendo's blood. Kasumi is a very powerful healer, but that's been a very well kept secret. I don't wonder that the Emperor himself would like to see the bloodlines mixed. The Ono-Tendo children are all likely to be very powerful. The two families have agreed that Kasumi will take the Ono name, but the little brother will take the Tendo family name. This way, both families will continue."

"You are lying to me! Why?" Tatewaki demanded.

"Again, I'm not lying to you," Kodachi told him, once again using a very cool and smooth voice. "There's no point in lying. You can find out the truth easily enough. As for why I'm telling you – I don't want to hear the name Ranma Saotome again! I lost over a year of my life pursuing that creature and made a total fool of myself. I'm done! If you want to end up in the insane asylum trying to unravel Akane Tendo's protections, that's your business – and your loss. Now leave me alone!" She raised her arm and pointed toward the door imperiously.

* * *

Toshio Kuno closed his eyes in pain at the memory. Kodachi had tried to put a spin on the truth in the hopes if she told a different story than Toshio, Tatewaki would believe her and see that Akane did not love Tatewaki. Now the boy admitted the possibility, but had decided that Akane was his, one way or another, even if it took death to unite them. "He's lost to me," Toshio sighed. "One way or another, he's going to die. All I can do is minimize the damage and tend to the survivors."

He stood looking out the window for several more minutes until the phone rang. He picked up and immediately heard a familiar voice: "Now I have a bargain for you Mr. Kuno," Nari said haughtily.

* * *

Footnotes:

(1) Happened in "The Destruction of Ranma Saotome – Ignition".


	2. Tatewaki

Chapter 2: Tatewaki

Tatewaki sat in his jail cell and fumed. These peasants refused to release him no matter how much he threatened. The food was dreadful and he was allowed to bath only every other day. There was nothing to read and they would not allow him to watch TV either. Once, he attempted to discipline the guards and they had the nerve to taser him. "How dare they! I am their better!"

Kuno had attempted to contact his uncle, only to be told point blank that his uncle had more important matters to attend to. When he contacted his lawyers, they told him to be polite to the guards and mind his manners. That was three days ago and he hadn't been allowed to make any more phone calls since then. The guards had told him that if he could learn to say the word "Please", he might be allowed to place a call today, otherwise it might be ten days before he got the chance again. Tatewaki finally swallowed his venom and said the magic word. Instead of calling his uncle, the young man called his father. The former principal was surprised that Tatewaki had not been sulking in his room down the hall for the last three days. The news that his boy was in jail was a complete shock. The father asked his son why he hadn't called his uncle.

"Because dear Uncle is happy to leave me here to rot!" the jailbird growled.

"O.K. Boy. Hold your lei! I'll go get him," his father said.

"NO! Just come get me!" Tatewaki screamed. "If you talk to him, I'll never get out of here!"

"All right, all right," his father soothed. "Just tell me where you are…"

* * *

The guards brought Tatewaki to the interview room where his father was waiting for him. Tatewaki said formally: "Hello Father."

"Well Brutha, we got us a bad old mess!" his father answered.

Tatewaki ground his teeth. "Speak normally, old man! It's hard enough to understand you. You lived in Japan for forty years before you went to that miserable little island! You know how to talk! What did you find out?"

"Such impatience, my little Tate," his dad laughed.

Tatewaki ground his teeth again at the condescending tone, but didn't explode. At least the voice was closer to normal. "Can you get me out of here or not?" he asked.

"Have to wait until the day after tomorrow to find out. Today is Saturday," the elder Kuno told him.

"THIS IS INSUFFERABLE!" Tatewaki yelled. He started to get up when he saw one of the guards take out a taser. He immediately dropped back into the chair and placed his clasped hands on the table. In a calmer voice, he asked: "I thought they have to let me go in three days or charge me."

His father shook his head. "No," he said. "But they have to petition a judge to hold you longer. They did – the judge signed the order yesterday."

Tatewaki opened his mouth to scream at the room, but his father held up a hand. The unexpectedly stern look on the elder's face silenced the younger man. "You're still in here because you attacked the guards and they tasered you, little boy. You control your temper now. We don't own this town. The Saotome's do and they don't like you. (1) You want to see the outside of the jail again? Then you behave."

"I am Tatewaki Kuno! The demon family of Ranma Saotome is beneath me!" Tatewaki snapped.

His father looked at him and laughed. "Congratulations, boy," he said as he stood up. "You'll be in here over Christmas. Maybe they'll let me visit before New Year's."

"What? Wait! Where are you going? Take me home!" Tatewaki demanded.

His father raised an eyebrow at him. "You're worse off that I am," he stated. "I know I have no power here. You better learn the same. I'll try and get back here on Monday."

"Wait! This is really Ranma Saotome's town?" Tatewaki asked in shock.

"Nope, boy. It's his mother's. But they know all about you! Learn to kiss her feet," his father laughed.

"Then find out about him! Toshio and Kodachi are making up lies! Let's get the truth!" Tatewaki insisted.

"See what I can do," his father waved as he walked out the door.

* * *

Two days later, Tatewaki was sent into the interview room alone this time to talk with his father. "Not bad," his father laughed. "Still can pull off a few things – even here."

"Keep your voice down! My keepers might get curious enough to start spying," Tatewaki snapped.

"All right, all right," his father soothed. He took out a little box and flipped the switch. A soft hissing filled the room. "That will cover a lot of our conversation."

The elder gentleman shifted and leaned closer. "I did as you asked and took a look around, both here and in Nerima. It seems your father was about to get tossed out on his ass if he didn't resign. It looks like dear brother was right – Family Court is ripping through the school. This Judge Sanu is hot to burn some Kuno blood, and he doesn't care if it's dear brother's, mine, or yours. He's looking for any wrong doing, no matter how small. Big brother is calling in a lot of favors and a lot of blackmail. Our pet Judge is running a little interference against Sanu, but there's only so much his willing to do – he won't actually cross the senior judge. We pick up a delay here, early warning here, but that's about it."

"This is outrageous!" Tatewaki hissed.

"A new world order has arisen, little one. The Kunos no longer rule Nerima. Better get used to it," his father laughed softly. "It's a good thing we are not there. Big brother is tolerated by the people, but not me and you. We're done."

"Damn it!" Tatewaki whispered. "Why doesn't someone just take care of the problem?"

"Oooo…listen to the little big man," the senior Kuno grinned. "You think it's easy to snap your fingers? Oh, no, no. Koyko ordered Sanu to Nerima. You gonna cross the Emperor? Much has changed in who rules Japan, but in the hearts of the people, Emperor is still the Emperor. Even the Diet will listen to him – they will not jump, they may not act, but they will listen."

"Crud," the younger man moaned. "Did you find out about Saotome?"

There was more laughter. "Oh this will curl your short hairs – there is no Saotome," the elder man whispered in a conspiratorial tone.

"WHAT?" Tatewaki yelled. His father made a hushing gesture and Tatewaki got his voice under control. "What the hell are you talking about? I fought him! You fought him!"

"Trick. Illusion. Lie. Impersonation," his father rumbled off. "Birth document at the school was a forgery. Never had any other school records for Ranma Saotome. No records of him anywhere. No documents at Nerima hospital either. Your little sister is right – no records in Koseki. No records in immigration. No Ranma Saotome. No Ranko Tendo either."

"That's not possible!"

"Sorry, Sonny Boy. It is – it be! The Judge pulled the Saotome file from the school. All fake," his father said followed by more soft laughter.

"This is not funny, old man!" Tatewaki growled.

"It's hilarious! Your father spent so much time and effort hunting down a phantom. I've been beaten soundly!" More laughter followed. "Definitely time to quit," the former principal said.

"But he has parents!" Tatewaki insisted in a low harsh voice.

His father shook his head. "Genma Saotome vanished just after we did," he whispered. "There isn't a single reference to him in all Japan. Best guess is that he was an actor hired to play a part. Sort of make sense – no one could be that stupid and survive."

"But the mother is real!" Tatewaki said. "She's from this town!"

"More or less," the elder agreed. "She was born to the Saotome family. Her mother died when she was five and her sister died when she was fifteen. She ran away from the family at age nineteen and was tracked to the Tokyo area. She refused to return home and her father banished her from the family. It was later learned that she suffered from severe paranoia and schizophrenia. She lived quietly in Nerima for many years making a comfortable living with Nuido during that time. She also started to receive medical treatment for her illnesses and responded well to treatment. She's was living quietly there for seventeen years until a gas explosion wrecked her house and she rented a room from the Tendos."

"Doesn't she have any children at all?" Tatewaki pressed.

His father winced. "I'm not sure." At his son's disbelief, he continued: "There's no child listed under the Saotome files, but there are some strange rumors - something about bearing an 'Honor child'."

"She had an illegitimate son?" Tatewaki asked hopefully.

"No," the father answered. "Such a child would be listed under the Saotome family in the Koseki. But there's a rumor she was a surrogate mother for a Healer. In return for bearing the child, the Healer would cure her madness."

"That's insane!" Tatewaki burst out.

His father shrugged: "Doesn't matter. Unless we knew the sire's name, there's no way to trace it, not even in the Koseki."

"So there really is no Ranma Saotome?" the son asked in disbelief.

"Appears to be none," his father confirmed.

"What about Akane Tendo? Is she real?" Tatewaki demanded.

"Very real," his father agreed. "May be only real person. She's due to graduate soon. She will be going off to college with fiancé."

"Fiancé? She does have a fiancé?" Tatewaki asked.

"From what my remaining spy told me," his father answered. "Recently got engaged to brother of Doctor Ono. They will be married as soon as possible."

There was a long pause in the conversation. Tatewaki felt like he had been kicked in the head several times by a mule. "Who asked who?" he asked finally.

The jovial madness faded from his father's eyes. The man sighed and said in a rough yet somehow gentle voice: "She asked him. She's known him for over two years. It really does look like Ranma Saotome was a cover story to protect him. She wanted you distracted, and it worked. I don't know who – or what – Saotome really was, but he's vanished now that you're out of the way."

Tatewaki sat there stunned. His father stared at him for a long time. Finally, the elder asked his son in a halfway sane voice: "Son? Are you still there?"

"I…I'm still here, Father," Tatewaki replied distantly.

There was another long pause until Father Kuno finally said: "Son, the games are over. You and I need to leave – we've lost." He paused again to shake his head. "Something very strange has happened and we will not survive against it. My plane leaves for Hawaii the day after Christmas. You should be on it. We'll even get your Uncle's blessing. It's time to make a new home."

Tatewaki looked at his father blankly.

The elder continued: "I've talked to the judge and he agreed to let you go if you plead guilty and pay a million yen fine. I also had to promise him that you would leave the country for at least six months. You can go to school in Hawaii and get a degree there. That will take four years. Maybe we'll settle there or in Canada. There's no future for us in Nerima."

Tatewaki looked at his father. There was no expression on the son's face. Finally, he got up and walked to the door speaking to his father in a vague voice: "Whatever you think is best…" Tatewaki walked out then, bowed to the guards, and let them escort him back to his cell without a fuss.

* * *

Wednesday 12/25/02 (two days later):

There were more people than expected at the Kuno's Hokkaido estate come Christmas Day. Since Tatewaki and his father were expected to leave for good, the extended family had gathered to say 'Goodbye' (they only silently added 'and Good Riddance').

Tatewaki moved among his second cousins as if in a dream. He barely remembered any of the conversation. Most people just asked him what he was planning to study at the University of Hawaii, to which he replied "Business". Some of his younger cousin teased him lightly about having to "put up" with the attention of beautiful island maidens. He just smiled at them and said nothing.

His father talked about how good it would be to go back and see the places he had studied at before, this time with his son. When his father was asked about Kodachi, they were told that she would fly to Hawaii and stay at the new Kuno estate for a month before returning to Japan and finishing her high school education. The people who asked the question would then glance at Toshio, who would discretely nod his head.

The only thing stood out in the entire day was a conversation Tatewaki overheard between Toshio and one of Toshio's male cousins.

"I've heard you have moved into the Nerima estate. What pried you away from the Business District?" the cousin asked.

"Maybe I developed a taste for some of the simpler things in life," Toshio hedged.

"Or maybe there's a woman you've set your sights on?" the cousin teased. Toshio just grinned enigmatically, which caused the cousin to laugh and follow-on with "I wish you 'Good Hunting'." The cousin then added: "I have a wedding to attend in Nerima on New Year's Day. Do you have time for dinner the day after?"

"Yes," Toshio agreed. "That sounds wonderful. I'll set up a time and have them call you. Who's getting married?"

"It's the Ono-Tendo wedding. My wife went to school with Dr. Ono. I've met him a couple of times – he's a likable chap," the cousin answered.

"Yes, I know of him," Toshio smiled. "I think most people would agree with you."

"They're having a double wedding ceremony. I think it is unusual these …" (2)

The rest of the conversation was lost on Tatewaki. He silently retired to his room. He searched for any pictures of Akane Tendo he had hidden away, but the ninjas had been too successful at locating all his hiding places.

Later that evening, after everyone had left, Tatewaki stood in the estate yard using his sword to write Akane's name in the snow. He stared at it for a while and then angrily slashed at the writing. "You're mine," he hissed. "I do not give you permission to marry anyone else, sorceress or no sorceress. No one defies me."

Tatewaki never noticed his uncle watching him solemnly from an unlit second story window.

* * *

The next day, Tatewaki and his father left the Hokkaido estate with four bodyguards bound for the Muraoran airport. Both Kunos were in a somber mood as the limousine drove through the ice covered countryside. Neither one spoke until the car stopped at a red light, about ten kilometers from Muraoran.

"Father?" Tatewaki started.

"Yes, Tate?"

"Thank you for finally being my father," Tatewaki said. With that, he pulled out a smoke bomb and covered his mouth and nose with a gas mask. The other five men immediately passed out. The car started through the empty intersection and crashed into a ditch on the far corner. Smoke poured from the car as Tatewaki kicked open the door. He leaned in to check his father's jacket, and found an envelope full of cash. Taking that, he kissed his father's forehead and moved away from the car, throwing the gas mask away.

A man in a pickup truck stopped by the smoking car. "What happened?" he asked.

"I don't know!" Kuno answered. "The driver clutched his chest. Thank the gods, we were at a red light when it happened!"

The other man ran to the car and reached in to grab one of the unresponsive men. He never counted on the drugged smoke overwhelming him. Kuno pulled the man out and checked for keys and a wallet. Finding only the wallet, Kuno ran to the truck and found the keys in the ignition. He climbed in and drove off without a backwards glance.

* * *

Nari stood in a warm blue dress watching Tatewaki drive away. Then she walked across the road to the car and opened all the doors letting the smoke pour out. The healer carefully checked the six men and found their pulses were all steady, but the two men in the front seats were both bleeding from the nose.

"That's useful," she said out loud. "The more blood in play, the better." She took a clean white handkerchief from a pocket and used it to wipe the blood from both men's faces, soaking a bit of the cloth. Then she examined their noses, taking time to straighten one man's nose so it would heal properly. "That's that. They'll be fine, and I have what I need." With that, she walked across the road again and stayed out of sight. She watched as a passerby stopped and eventually the police, an ambulance, and a tow truck were summoned. After all the injured were tended to and everyone had left, she crossed back to stand in the now empty spot.

She fished a small circular mirror about four centimeters across from one pocket. The mirror seemed to be made of polished silver. Taking the bloody handkerchief, Nari wiped it on the mirror's surface, leaving large streaks of blood. Then she took out a tiny sealed glass vial no larger than a fingernail. It sparkled brightly in the daylight. The mage crushed the vial against the bloody mirror, the shattered glass and its contents clinging to the bloody mess. She brought out a second, larger vial, obviously containing more blood and poured a drop on the mirror. Then she took a lock of hair from another pocket and wrapped that around the mirror. "Thank you very much for those two items, Toshio Kuno. Much easier to hex someone when you have hair and blood," she thought. Nari brought the mirror to her lips and kissed it gently. Then she took out a book and held it up, balanced on one palm. She raised the other palm up as well, with the bloody mirror held in it. With both arms raised, she chanted out an alien rhyme. The mirror glowed and a wind arose. The book sprang open and miraculously stayed seated on Nari's upraised hand as the wind turned the pages.

She looked down at the shadow she cast due to the low Winter Sun. "Come, shadow of never-was and nevermore! If you want a real companion, answer and do my bidding." Slowly, her shadow shrank back to her feet and then began to rise up her legs. The shadow continued to climb upwards, altering her clothes. As the shadow engulfed her completely, there was a flash and it vanished. A new woman stood there. She looked very similar to Nari including the raw cut on her cheek, but her face was slightly rounder and she wore a full red royal-looking flowing dress. She still held the open book and the mirror, but the most peculiar thing about her was that she cast no shadow.

The woman-in-red spoke out-loud: "Agreed. Let me set the stage and summon the other shadows. They will come just to play and have a bit of mischief – you'll see."

The woman-in-red raised the book and mirror as high as she could and yelled out: "Hear me, Shadows of the Past! Come and walk in the Sun once more. I offer a time and place. And maybe a chance to even a few scores a little…"

The woman-in-red grinned as the upraised book began glowing with the mirror.

* * *

"Mr. Kuno!" one of the ninjas called into the dining room at the Hokkaido estate. Toshio looked up at the man. The ninja continued: "There's been an accident. Your nephew is missing!"

Toshio nodded. "Is anyone hurt?" he asked.

"Two broken noses, some bumps, and bruises. No one seems to remember the last few hours. Everyone is being held on suspicion of concussion. There was an unknown man involved, but he'll be all right," the ninja answered.

Toshio sighed. "Kodachi managed to pull through. I had hope for Tatewaki…" he murmured.

"Sorry, sir?" the ninja asked.

"Just thinking out loud," Toshio replied. "All right. Dispatch some men to the hospital everyone is at. As soon as my brother is cleared by the doctors, get him to Hawaii and keep him there!"

Yes, sir! What about your nephew?" the man asked.

"Call Nerima and issue the code phrase 'White Queen'. They will know what to do. Then call the airport and have my plane ready to go within three hours!" Toshio smiled grimly. "There's no way I'm missing this."

* * *

A/N: Footnotes -

(1) The Nodoka's family was introduced in "The Destruction of Ranma Saotome – Detonation." As Father Kuno states, they are very powerful in Hokkaido. They have been watching Nodoka (and Ranma) from afar.

(2) Kasumi and Tofu are getting married twice - one civil ceremony and one formal. The reason for the double wedding ceremony was mentioned in "Tofu's Return", Chapter 6. Tatewaki may be thinking of a different definition though...

* * *

A/N: Don't be too surprised that Principal Kuno received information that backed Kodachi's version of events. Don't forget that Toshio Kuno knows exactly what Kodachi told Tatewaki.


	3. Of Cats, Duchesses, and Queens

Chapter 3: Of Cats, Duchesses, and Queens

The little boy jumped around on the train station platform as only a four year old could. His mom had placed a safety harness on him and, since the crowds were very light, she gave him as much freedom as the harness allowed. So the boy was making the most of it by playing a game of stomping on the shadows of people as they walked by. He would wait until they passed and then pounce on the trailing silhouette. Unfortunately, there had been a break in the action and he was starting to get bored. He looked down the platform and brightened as he saw a new victim walking toward him. The man moved while ignoring his surroundings, making him a perfect target. The boy stood passively next to his mom, waited until the stranger passed and then ran forward.

The child had to stop suddenly though. "What?" he wondered. "Where's his shadow?" He stared at the back of the passing man. "Is he a ghost? But it's daylight! Ghosts don't walk in daylight!"

* * *

Tatewaki Kuno never noticed the child. Nor did he notice anyone else. He strolled purposely through the station to his waiting train. He walked on and sat down while glancing around. It was weird that no one was on it despite the Season, but he'd take what he could get. He'd manage to slip aboard a ferry and leave Hokkaido without issue. The new non-descript clothes he was wearing probably helped. This train would take him to Tokyo and then he'd go straight to the Tendo dojo and storm the place using the sleep grenades his father had secured for him. He'd grab Akane, and marry her quickly before she could do anything about it. Once they were man and wife, that would be that.

As the train pulled out of the station, he took out a large sandwich he bought and ate it. His meals had been sketchy as he worked to avoid his uncle's people. "Fools!" he thought contemptuously. "No one will stand in the way of True Love!" Once he finished his meal, he made himself comfortable. It seemed being 'on the run' was wearing him out. Now was as good a time as any to catch up on his sleep.

Just before he closed his eyes, he heard someone running down the train aisle and a familiar voice yelled out: "I'm late! I'm late! I'm late for a very important date!"

Kuno spun to see a young man wearing white Chinese robes and thick glasses run past him. "That's the Chinese moron!" Kuno thought. "The one who's always chasing after the purple-haired girl! His name is Mousse! What the hell is he doing here? He could wreck everything!" Kuno rose to grab him, but the Chinese man dodged him without a thought and continued to run forward. When Mousse reached the front of the car, he opened the door between cars and stepped through, closing the door behind him.

Tatewaki checked to make sure he had a grenade with him and then ran after the blind man. As he opened the door at the front of the car and tried to step into the gangway connection, he heard a familiar voice scream "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" Kuno was then slammed with a large mallet flying through the air. He lost the grip on his unarmed grenade and was knocked right back into his seat.

Kuno sat up with a start and looked around. "Was that Akane's voice? Has my beloved come to me?" he wondered. "Or did I just dream that?" His face certainly felt bruised enough. He stood up and looked at the front of the car. There was a large mallet on the ground. "She's here!" his voice burst out. "She's come to me! What a glorious day!" He ran forward again and opened the door once more (keeping a low profile). To his surprise, all he saw was the other end of the vestibule. He crossed the vestibule, opened the other door, and went inside.

The next train car somehow had a wider aisle, even allowing for the fact that a row on each side of the train had only two seats instead of three. Each seat was occupied by a pretty young woman, approximately twenty-five years old, dressed in a form-fitting white jumpsuit. On the upper right of each woman's chest was a shape followed by a number. The shapes were like that from a set of playing cards – diamonds, clubs, hearts, and spades. They had all been watching a woman standing up at the front of this car. The obvious leader was wearing a beautiful red flowing dress with a tiara on top of her head. He face was vaguely familiar, even with the deep cut on her cheek. Kuno was sure he had seen her within the last week or so somewhere.

The standing woman looked at Kuno and said: "Ah, my beloved comes to me." Kuno was about to protest her declaration when she cut him off: "Before you is Tatewaki Kuno, heir apparent to the vast Kuno empire. I love him more than life itself, so I declare that he must prove his love for me. If any of you can defeat him, you may claim him for yourself – he's quite the catch."

"Now see here…" Kuno started only to be cut off again; this time by a fist to the jaw from one of the women. Another woman immediately kicked him between the legs and dropped him to the ground. "He's mine!" the second attacker screamed.

"No, he's mine! I hit him first!" the other woman yelled. Kuno managed to drag himself to his feet again, somewhat hunched over.

"No! He's up again! He's mine!" a third woman screamed behind him as she hit him with a baseball bat. Kuno tumbled forward and tried to pull himself up using a seat when he caught another blow to the chin from the woman in the seat. She didn't even bother saying anything; she just got up to hit him again. Kuno stumbled away from her.

"But I really love him!" a fifth woman called out. "Give in to me, beloved, and I will take care of you!" She launched herself at him.

"No, I love you! Give in to me!" chorused around Tatewaki as a mob attacked him. He soon found himself pummeled, kicked, and trampled by the onslaught. Kuno was defenseless against the mob and soon lay in a bruised heap. The women began to fight among themselves as to who delivered the critical blow(s). As they fought, Kuno crawled back the way he came, his mind too stunned to remember the other grenades he carried.

He managed to make it back to the vestibule, when he felt the train stop at a station. The jolt seemed to snap the women out of their battle fury and they turned to see him closing the vestibule door. "He's getting away!" one of them screamed.

A shot of adrenaline flew through Kuno's blood and he bolted back to his own car, and then out the open door of his car. "I have to get away from here!" was the only thought in his head as he ran onto the platform and out into the station.

* * *

The people riding on the train were surprised to see a young man startup out of his sleep and stand quickly just after the train stopped. "I have to get away from here!" he yelled and then ran off the train.

As everyone looked at one another, one woman dressed all in red commented: "I guess this is his stop too." She added with a shrug of her shoulders: "He almost slept through it, I suppose." Then she picked up a backpack and walked out the train door. She watched as Kuno ran out of the station and then into the woods off to the right. A smile formed on her face as she followed him.

* * *

Kuno had just cleared the station door when he heard the women yell behind him: "There he is!"

"No!" he thought desperately. He turned away from the street and ran along the building. Leaping a guard rail, he plunged into the adjoining woods and kept running through briar patches, thick woods and open meadows. Finally he missed his footing and tumbled down a small embankment. He came to rest in a bramble bush that was thick enough to absorb his momentum.

Kuno lay there listening for the sounds of pursuit. After fifteen minutes, he started to pull himself together. "What the hell was that?" he wondered. "How did those women know who I was? I know I'm perfect, but I've never had a crowd chase me like that – usually woman are far too shy. And who is this woman to order that I'm hers? Says who? I am the lord and master, not her!"

Tatewaki began to extricate himself from the bramble bush when he heard the sounds of footsteps approaching from behind. He quickly started to burrow back in the bush until he heard: "I'm late! I'm late! I need to get a date!" The voice was familiar, but the words were in English.

"It's Mousse again! What the hell?" Tatewaki wondered. He saw Mousse approach in his white robes. The Chinese teenager was running on a nearby deer trail. Kuno watch him tear by his hiding place without pause. Once he was gone, Tatewaki climbed out of the bush and stood on the trail. "Well, I can go back to the train station where those lunatics might be waiting for me, or I can follow Mousse and see if he has a means to get back to Nerima," the wannabe samurai thought. He started down the trail after Mousse.

A little while later, he saw a small cottage standing in a clearing ahead. It was a neat little building with a proper slate roof. In fact, most things were proper about the building except for the rather large panda snoring in the front yard. Kuno noticed that it looked similar to the one he sometimes saw in Nerima, but he really couldn't tell one panda from another well enough to be sure. Kuno dismissed the sleeping animal and walked up to the door. He knocked at the door, but it was apparently unlatched because the door opened at his touch. "Hello?" he called into the dark house.

The last thing he remembered hearing was a familiar voice yelling "Off with his head!" in English. The last thing he remembered seeing before he lost consciousness was a rather large mallet flying at his head.

* * *

Tatewaki was lying in the corner of a kitchen floor when he came to. The first thing that registered in his mind was a pretty young woman nursing a baby in the opposite corner. The baby was completely hidden in swaddling blankets. The young woman wore a nursing shawl to protect her modesty. She was talking to a short old woman on a stool who was stirring a large pot. Kuno was sure the old woman was Cologne from the restaurant Mousse worked for, but she was wearing a fancy gown rather than her Chinese robes. The young woman was familiar too; Tatewaki was sure he'd seen her in the company of that always lost oaf, Ryoga. Both women seemed to be speaking English though instead of Japanese. Since Tatewaki was an indifferent English student, he was only catching every other word, but they seemed to be discussing pepper soup.

Kuno tried to move and ended up groaning instead. The two women looked at him for a moment and then went back to their discussion. "Excuse me," Kuno asked in English as he sat up. "But where is Akane Tendo?"

The Cologne look-alike turned to him and snapped: "I don't know that name, boy. And address me by my title. I am the Duchess."

"I am Tatewaki Kuno, a samurai warrior. There are no duchesses in Japan," he returned haughtily.

"There's more to the world than Japan," the young woman sniffed. "And those are arrogant words from something the cat dragged in."

"Cat?" Kuno questioned sounding confused.

The young woman pointed off to Kuno's left and he turned to see a large blue-black panther perched on top of a refrigerator. The great cat's coat had an iridescent quality to it causing the animal to look like it was glowing. "Oh my god!" Kuno burst out at seeing the animal's size. The cat grinned at him so that Kuno could count all of its teeth, but, somehow, the animal did not look threatening. Kuno could see laughter in its blue cat eyes.

At Kuno's shout, the baby the young woman was holding began squealing. "Now look what you've done!" she said crossly. The young woman arranged her clothing and stood up. Then she crossed to Kuno and lifted him to his feet by one hand. "Here!" she said impatiently. "Make yourself useful and burp the baby." She thrust the child at Kuno, forcing him to take it.

Kuno immediately held the child out at arm's length. "That's woman's work!" he said scornfully. He looked at the child and saw it was not a child but a small black pig swaddled in blankets. "What the hell? This is not a child!" The pig looked at Kuno and promptly threw up, covering Kuno from head to toe. It was amazing that a little animal could make such a mess.

"Ah, that's better," the young woman said as she took the pig-baby back. She turned away from Kuno and looked at the cat. "Oh no!" she called out to the cat. "None of that!" When Kuno looked at the panther, he started in surprise – the cat was gone except for its mouth which continued grinning at the scene in front of it. The woman walked over to the refrigerator the cat's grin was floating over and slapped the machine. "It's hard enough to have you about when you're not pulling that Umisen-ken nonsense!" The rest of the cat slowly became visible again. The woman turned to face the Duchess. "I wish you'd do something about your cat!" she said crossly.

"It's not my cat," the Duchess said. "Everyone thinks it's my cat because I taught it a few tricks. It belongs to itself, and maybe the Queen." She turned to Kuno and threw a bucket of hot water on him. "Damn, that's your real shape? I'm so sorry. Go outside and get your samurai self cleaned up. There's a hose and bucket outside. You're stinking up my kitchen!" Kuno was about to shout back indignantly when the Duchess held up a marble rolling pin. He promptly shut his mouth, got up, and stalked outside. The cat followed him.

* * *

Kuno found the hose and washed the spit-up off himself. The cat just watched him with amusement. "Great, now I'm soaked and it's December," Tatewaki said out loud.

"I could chase you around the fields for a while," the cat said in a rumbling voice. Other than the soft growl, it spoke perfect English.

"By the gods!" Kuno exclaimed stumbling backward. "You can talk." He ended up backed against the house.

"Of course I can. Can't you?" the great cat asked.

"Cat's don't normally talk!" Kuno argued.

"I'm not normal, I'm exceptional," the cat said reasonably.

Kuno had to admit silently that indeed was the case. "I don't want to be chased around!" Kuno snapped back at it.

The cat shrugged. "Your loss. I understand running in circles works wonders for drying off. A friend of mine told me about it – he called it a caucus race."

"That's not what a caucus race is!" Kuno snapped again. Something deep in the back of the young man's mind screamed at him that it was not reasonable to be arguing with a large predator that could disembowel him with a flick of its claws, but Kuno was not known for listening to reason. He did stop himself from explaining what a caucus race was though. He wanted to be warm, and he didn't want to face the Duchess again (or that baby). "I need a fire."

"There's a forge out back. You can dry off there," the cat suggested.

Kuno walked around the house and saw an open blacksmith shop with a forge inside. He walked in and found no one about. The cat followed him curiously. Kuno dumped some charcoal in the forge and used the bellows to build up heat. "Much better," he sighed to himself. He turned to the cat. "Where am I?"

"You're right here," the cat answered. "I would think you knew that."

Kuno closed his eyes. "Actually, I'm in hell," he thought.

"Not yet," the cat answered. "You might want to avoid it. I'd recommend dodging it if you get a chance."

Tatewaki's eyes bulged. "You can read my mind?" he asked.

"Of course not. I can just hear your thoughts. To read your mind with my eyes, I'd have to cut your skull open. Most creatures complain when I do that," the panther explained patiently.

Kuno forced himself not to scream at the animal. "What city is the closest to where I am?" he tried again.

"Astrally, ethereally, or terrestrially?" the cat pushed back.

Kuno sighed impatiently. "Let's try terrestrially," he suggested snappishly.

"Human, Elvish, Orge, or Goblin?" the cat asked.

Kuno ground his teeth and said steadily : "Human."

"The human city of Sendai lies 10 km to the north-north-east," the cat replied.

"That's not possible!" Kuno exclaimed sharply. "Three hours ago I was in Aomori!"

"No," the cat disagreed. "Three hours ago you were lying on the Duchess's floor where I left you."

Tatewaki found it hard to dispute that. "How long was I lying there?" Kuno asked.

"About five hours," the cat answered. "Of course, Time is a little funny. Mary Ann kept complaining about Time, so he's a little cross with her."

"Mary Ann?" Kuno couldn't quite stop himself.

"The Duchess's housekeeper. Mary Ann use to work for the white blind man, but she got fed up and started here one morning. It gave the Duchess a terrible shock to find her here," the cat answered.

"Stop!" Kuno ordered himself. He had a feeling he was looking into the abyss and he needed to stop before he fell in.

"Too late," answered the cat.

Kuno ignored that. Instead he asked: "What is today?"

"Today is now, but you already knew that. Why did you ask?" the panther replied.

Kuno felt the trap before him and stopped himself with more grinding of the teeth. He needed away from this crazy place and this crazy animal. He decided not to talk until he was dry and warm. "Where's the nearest road?" he finally asked.

"Across the field and through the woods in that direction," the cat pointed with its tail.

"Thank you," Kuno answered and left in that direction.

The cat watched as the young man stalked off. "I wondered if I should have mentioned that the road was a quarter of a kilometer up a cliff face," the animal thought. "Going the other way might have been easier."

* * *

"REALLY!" Kuno screamed while staring up at the road far above him. He thought about returning to the farm and quickly dropped that idea. Instead, he followed the stream at the base of the cliff, figuring there would be people downstream. "I still have some money on me. Maybe I can buy some food. I'm starving." That thought stopped him. "Why am I so hungry? I felt like I haven't eaten all day, but I had a large sandwich on the train. Even if the cat was telling the truth, I shouldn't be this hungry…" Eventually, he had to give up that thought train. He was hungry and that was that for now.

He had walked downstream for a couple of kilometers when he heard a loud shout in English: "MY TARTS! WHO STOLE MY TARTS?"

Kuno's heart almost burst with joy. "That sounded like my Love!" he thought gleefully. "And she needs my help!" He ran towards the voice, his thoughts suppressing any instinct for self-preservation. Tatewaki burst out of the woods onto a large well-tended playing field set up for croquet. There were fifteen people, most of them male, all dressed in red medieval armor of some type or other. Eight of them wore leather armor with short helmets; two wore chain mail, but had bishop hats; four wore plate mail and, of those, two were on oversized horses. All the men wore bright red capes.

It was the sole female that caught Kuno's attention though. The woman was dressed in a red and white royal gown decorated with hearts of varying sizes. She also had a very familiar face to go with the familiar voice. "My Beloved!" Kuno burst out joyously.

Kuno's 'beloved' turned toward his shout. Kuno watched stunned as the woman's chocolate eyes first widened and then hardened with loathing. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" the Queen screamed.

One of the knights turned to a bishop and said: "But that's…" the warrior started.

"It doesn't matter," the bishop cut him off. "The Red Queen said we were to do whatever the Queen of Hearts told us until she returned." The bishop threw down his shepherd's crock and drew a sword from its scabbard belted at his waist.

The rest of the red cloaked men shrugged and also drew their weapons. "Victory or Death" they yelled and advanced on Kuno.

Kuno shouted: "I will defeat you all for my Love!" He reached into his coat for some sleep grenades and found that he must have left them at the Duchess's black smithy. "Damn!" he said out loud. Then he yelled: "No matter! I will defeat you all anyw…" It was now that his self-preservation instincts finally kicked it and he ducked under the sword coming at his neck. However, he failed to dodge the mailed fist that struck him solidly in the face and dropped him to the ground.

Tatewaki soon felt himself lifted from the ground and his head placed on a flat tree stump. "That hurt you know," he said as he lay there.

"Don't worry, lad," a tall giant of a man said as he hefted a great battle axe. "This will take away all your pain."

"Halt!" yelled the Queen.

"Is there a problem your Majesty?" the giant asked setting the axe down again.

The Queen of Hearts walked over to the group of men, thoughtfully tapping her lips. When she reached them, she sighed. "I'm afraid so. You see, my people usually know I'm not serious when I order an execution, and my King pardons them as fast as I order them executed. Unfortunately, he's not here right now, and you lot are too efficient, so I have to do His Majesty's job as well."

"You wish to pardon him then, your Majesty?" the big man asked. "I'll admit, it would set us at ease. We don't like killing someone not in their right mind."

"Of course, she doesn't want me killed!" Kuno shouted from the headman's block. "She loves me!"

The giant kicked Kuno. "Mad or not, you will address the Queen as 'Her Majesty'," the axe-man growled.

"Excuse me?" the Queen said, ignoring the warrior. "I don't even know you, and you certainly don't know me. If you did, you would know I love my Husband – no one else. The only reason I don't want you killed is because death is a rather permanent condition, and the taking of a life is a serious consideration. If I've made a mistake, I can't undo it. It should be avoided if at all possible – only a fool thinks otherwise."

"But I would kill myself to prove my love!" Kuno protested.

"Then you are doubly a fool!" the Queen said severely. "It's one thing to sacrifice yourself so that your Love can live, but if you have to kill yourself to show that you love someone, then they don't love you and you certainly don't love them."

Kuno looked stricken: "But our Love cannot be denied! It springs from the core of our beings! You belong to me!"

Now the Queen became angry again. "I belong to myself, no one else! Even if I did belong to you as your slave, I would still love who I choose, and it wouldn't be a fool like yourself. My people may belong to me as my subjects, but even I am not foolhardy enough to think I can compel their Love. Love has to be freely given!"

"But you must love me!" Kuno said desperately. "I am the ultimate man for you!"

"My King is the ultimate man for me. You are just a lunatic!" she hissed.

The axe-man looked doubtful. "Maybe I should kill him, Your Majesty. His insanity might be catching…"

The Queen glared at Kuno and then turned to the Rook/Executioner. Her face became thoughtful. "I think we need to have an understanding. I'm never going to ask you to truly kill someone. If I ask you – any of you…" she said looking around at the men-at-arms. "To kill someone in whatever manner, what I really mean is to hurt them severely. Nothing they won't heal from though. Don't break any bones or remove an organ. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes, your Majesty!" the men boomed out.

"Good," she said satisfied. She turned and started to walk away from them.

"But my Love!" Kuno called out. His head was still on the chopping block (quite literally).

The Queen turned to look at the Rook. The giant raised an eyebrow. The Queen returned the gesture and said: "Kill him."

* * *

The woman in the red dress walked into the empty field and observed Tatewaki sleeping in the middle of the field. No one had been here for a long time. "This will do for tonight," she thought. She threw a small box down on the ground and it expanded to become a small cottage. She walked into the cottage and came back out with a large sleeping bag. She walked over to Tatewaki's prone form and said: "Sorry, there's no way you are sharing a room with me. At least there's no snow on the ground and the skies will stay clear tonight."

She opened the sleeping bag wide next to Tatewaki and rolled him into it. Then she placed two heat packs in the sleeping bag and zipped him up. "That should keep you well. Tonight, I need to plan your next set of adventures…"

* * *

A/N: Next Chapter - Weeds

* * *

A/N: 10/26/15 - Some minor corrections. Thanks to the Reviewers who sent them to me!


	4. Weeds

Chapter 4: Weeds

Kuno awoke battered and bruised sometime later. He looked around the clearing. The Queen and her soldiers were nowhere to be seen. "How long was I out?" he wondered. He got shakily to his feet and wandered to back to the stream at the base of the cliff. The stream looked clear so he took a long drink. After splashing water on his face, he took stock of himself. "I'm very hungry and sore, but nothing is broken. I still have my money, but no weapons. My clothes are still whole. I have a warm coat with a hood and gloves."

He looked up at the sun. "Is it setting or rising?" he wondered. "Did I actually sleep through the night?" He stuck a stick in the ground and marked its shadow. After waiting fifteen minutes, he checked the shadow again. "O.K. The sun is rising. Now I know where east is too. Nerima is to the south. If that cat was to be trusted, I'm well over halfway to Nerima."

He looked around. "But that makes no sense! I got off the train at the first stop. I should still be near the Tsugaru Strait. But there's no snow on the ground either, so that means I must be further south. What the hell?" He tried to piece yesterday back together: the Duchess, the pig-baby, the cat, the Queen… "There's something I should remember…" he thought.

Then he shook himself and stood up. "It doesn't matter. I have to get to my Love. She was here last night with the mercenaries. It's obvious that's she's still under some type of spell – that must be why she was speaking perfect English. There were two horses here too. The ground hasn't frozen solid yet. There has to be a trail somewhere around here." Kuno returned to the clearing and, after a little searching, he found the soldiers' trail taking another path back to the stream. "Good. They are following the stream south. I need to catch up with them before they get to Nerima."

* * *

After following the trail for a couple of hours, Kuno heard two men shouting up ahead. He snuck off the trail and circled around to stay hidden in the bushes. As he approached the source of the shouting, he noted another clearing ahead.

"Look, just take them back and be done with it. No one can eat them but the King and Queen," one voice hissed loudly in English.

"That's Mousse!" Kuno thought.

"But then I have nothing to take to the Café's opening. I can't show up empty-handed," another voice protested, again in English.

Kuno recognized the other voice as well. "That's Ryoga!" he thought. Tatewaki crept to the edge and looked at the two men. Mousse was as Kuno had last seen him; the Chinese man was still wearing his white robes. Ryoga was dressed differently though; he was wearing a white jumpsuit, similar to the outfits the women on the train had been wearing yesterday. His outfit was marked with a 'heart' symbol, but had the letter "J" next to the symbol instead of a number. Next to Ryoga was a picnic table. On the table rested a platter full of tarts.

"Look, I have to go," Mousse insisted. "I'm running late and I still need to find a date for this wedding."

"Why don't you ask the Queen of Diamonds?" Ryoga asked.

"Because she's in the wedding party and I want someone to sit at the table with me. I hate going to a wedding by myself," Mousse said.

"Take the Duchess then," Ryoga suggested and then ducked as Mousse threw a punch at him. Ryoga grinned and said: "Looks like the old white duck ain't what he used to be!"

Mousse launched a kick which connected solidly. "I have more than enough to keep up with you, Knave." Ryoga's grin never faltered as he retaliated. Soon, both men were launching kicks and punches. Kuno watched as the fight took them out of the clearing.

Kuno eyed the platter full of tarts. "Food!" he thought greedily. He ran forward and grabbed several of the tarts. He then ate them as fast as he could before the two men came back. Suddenly, Tatewaki's world vanished in a searing sensation of heat and pain. A silent scream tore from his being as he ran to the stream. He drank as fast as he could, but it seemed that all the waters of the world would not quench the burning sensation.

Finally, the bulk of the pain had passed and Kuno stopped trying to inhale water. "Who the hell makes hot pepper tarts?" Kuno thought. "And what the hell were the peppers they used? Good lord!"

"Did you hear something?" Ryoga's voice sounded extremely loud. Kuno froze where he was lying.

"I don't see anything," Mousse answered.

"That's not a wonder," Ryoga shot back.

"Look, do you want help getting to the Café Party or not?" Mousse huffed.

"All right, all right. I'm only teasing. I'm sorry," Ryoga said. The apology sounded sincere enough.

"Leave the tarts. The peppers will be crawling out of them shortly anyway," Mousse ordered.

Ryoga sighed. "You're right. I'll see if I can sweet talk Mary Ann into baking a cake for me." With that, Mousse led the way out of the clearing.

"I don't know how they missed me," Kuno thought. "But I know they're idiots, so maybe it's not that big a surprise." He stood up and immediately noticed a problem – either the world had suddenly grown a hundred times, or he had shrunk. His mind balked at it, but he couldn't reconcile himself to his surroundings in any other way. He felt and looked normal, but somehow he was now only a few centimeters tall. "What the hell!"

Suddenly, from the direction of the picnic table, Kuno heard loud clicking and scratching noises. He looked around the tall winter grass stalks and saw what looked to be giant scorpions leaping from the table to the ground. Each of the scorpions' body segments looked like a pepper fruit, except for the claws which looked like bisected peppers with the narrow end pointing out. The claws opened and closed and somehow looked very sharp. The scorpions began to fan out in all directions from the table. Kuno grabbed a short twig from nearby to use as a quarterstaff. As he held it, he looked at the scorpions which had not yet seen him.

"Has anyone ever told you that discretion is the better part of valor?" a voice from nearby whispered.

"That's utter nonsense!" Kuno hissed back.

"They eat anything smaller than themselves," the voice whispered. "This means you." In truth, the scorpions looked to be about eight times larger than Kuno.

"Where are you?" Kuno hissed.

"I'm right next to you," the voice whispered. Kuno turned to see a large plant waving at him. "After all, we weeds need to stick together."

"I'm not a weed," Kuno said crossly.

"Are you sure? I'm pretty sure you're not a flower. And you definitely don't look like you belong in the picnic area," the plant said. "I don't think anyone planted you here."

"I'm not a weed," Kuno insisted again, sounding even more annoyed.

"O.K., I believe you," the plant soothed. "But you are going to be dead very shortly. Maybe you should act like a weed and survive – we are very good at surviving and thriving where others cannot. And we are also very good at seeing the Truth. Those with delusions – like the so-called flowers – cannot survive without guardians. And the truth of the matter is that one of those scorpion peppers will snap your twig in half and then do the same to you."

Kuno studied the scorpions moving toward him. Admittedly, the pepper-built creatures looked extremely formable. As he watched, one of them snapped a twig twice the width of Kuno. The plant next to him touched his shoulder and said: "Listen mate: those who retreat live to fight another day."

"But a coward dies a thousand deaths! A hero only dies once!" Kuno shot back. With that, the foolish young man charged the nearest scorpion.

The weed watched the resulting fight. It was over in two snaps of a scorpion pepper's claw – quite literally. The weed watched the scorpion pepper devour Kuno's remains. "You're very lucky, boy, that we weeds stick together…"

* * *

Kuno felt the shock through his body as the claw snap him in half. Then he saw the second claw snip under his chin and suddenly he was outside of his body watching the scorpion devour his remains. Just as the creature finished eating, Tatewaki felt the scene pause and then run backwards. He watched as the scorpion spit up his flesh and Kuno's body seemed to reassemble itself. Just as suddenly as he found himself outside his body, Kuno found himself back inside as the claw seemed to reconnect the young man's torso. Then Kuno ran backwards and found himself next to the plant again. Nonsense words flowed from his lips as the plant placed it's leaves on him again: "!ecno seid ylno oreh A !shtaed dnasuoht a seid drawoc a tuB"

The plant responded: ".yad rehtona thgif ot evil taerter ohw esoht :etam netsiL" The scene paused and Kuno felt time run forward again. The plant was still touching him as it said: "Really lad, think about what just happened."

Kuno answered back: "The righteous cause is mine!" Then the idiot man charged the scorpion again.

Once more, the plant watched the scorpion kill Kuno quickly and eat him. "This could take a while…" the plant murmured.

* * *

A disembodied Kuno watched as time reversed again and his body was reassembled. Then he found himself back inside of it and he ran backwards to the plant again. "!enim si esuac suoethgir ehT" he cried at it as the plant touched him again.

".deneppah tsuj tahw tuoba kniht ,dal yllaeR" it answered him. Once more the scene paused and time ran forward again. The plant continued: "The definition of insanity is…"

Kuno didn't respond this time as he gave a battle charge and ran at the scorpion again.

"Well, third time wasn't a charm…" the plant sighed.

* * *

"I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School. I am invincible!" Kuno started as he charged at the scorpion again.

The plant watched the scorpion eat Kuno again. "I do not think that word means what you think it means…" the plant noted just before time ran backwards again.

* * *

"Dude, do you realize that you've been killed eighty-seven times now?" the plant challenged him.

"And yet I return!" Kuno shouted as he charged the scorpion pepper.

"And there you go again," the plant noted as the scorpion pepper killed Kuno for the eighty-eighth time."

* * *

"How about a change of strategy this time?" the plant suggested.

"Excellent idea!" Kuno cried. He tossed aside his twig and grabbed a large stone (actually a pebble given Kuno small size). Then he ran at the scorpion and smashed it in the head with the stone. The stone bounced harmlessly off the pepper's head and the scorpion pepper ate Kuno once more.

"Not the strategy I was trying to suggest…" the weed sighed.

* * *

Sometime later…

"79 bottles of beer on the wall. 79 bottles of beer," the weed sang.

"I will be victorious this time!" Kuno shouted as he started forward.

"Take one down, pass it around," the plant sang as Kuno attacked the scorpion.

*snap* *snap* *chomp* *chomp*

"78 bottles of beer on the wall," the plant finished just before the scorpion pepper spit up Kuno again.

* * *

Once the weed finished its song, it tried again. "Lad, stop for a second," it said firmly.

"I must slay the monster!" Kuno insisted.

"It's not a monster, it's just a plant looking for food. How about not feeding it?" the weed suggested.

"Plants don't eat people!" Kuno shouted running at the scorpion pepper again.

The weed watched the unchanging events. "Yep," it noted. "And the plants in a graveyard feed on nothing."

* * *

Again, sometime later…

"I must be wearing it out by now!" Kuno yelled.

"Why?" the weed shouted after him. "You're not we-… Oh damn…too late again."

* * *

And again…

"Die monster!"

"635…"

* * *

"636…."

* * *

"637…"

* * *

"HEY COWARD!" the weed shouted as Kuno started forward.

Quickly the young man turned and yelled furiously: "I am not a coward! I am a hero!"

"That's not what you told me before you attacked the first time," the weed shot back.

"What nonsense is this?!" Kuno demanded.

"You told me that a coward dies a thousand times, but a hero dies only once," the plant said sternly. "You gave up the hero's path nine-hundred and ninety-nine deaths ago. You just died a thousand times."

"That's nons…" Kuno started and then trailed off. He felt something strange shift deep inside himself.

"A thousand times, young man. I sat here and watched you. Search your memory – you remember the event happening and then things rewinding. This has gone on again and again," the plant told him.

Kuno replied: "But I am the hero! I cannot die!" Somehow the words echoed emptily inside his head.

"You don't study history do you? The history books are full of heroes – all of them dead," the weed said sternly.

Kuno stood there confused for several moments while the scorpion pepper plant failed to noticed him. Then he felt time began to reverse again. When he was back next to the weed and time started forward again, the weed shoved him behind itself. "Who are you?" Kuno demanded.

"I am Thyme," the plant answered.

"Time?"

"Close, but not the same. Fortunately for you, close enough," the plant replied again.

"But Thyme is not a weed!" Kuno insisted. "It grows in proper gardens."

I am a weed," the plant stated proudly. "I refuse be where people put me."

"But that's where you belong! They put you in a garden for your protection!" Kuno argued.

"No one consulted me on the matter," Thyme replied. "And I don't want their protection – I want to live as I want to. I'm not some pretty flower to be posed or used to flavor their dishes as they dictate. I have my own nature and I want to follow it. Would you want someone to telling you how to live or reproduce?"

"Well, no," Kuno answered, his memories making him feel uncomfortable. "But they are doing this for your own good. They know…"

"Who are they to tell me about my own good? How can they know me better than myself?" Thyme shot back. "No, 'buts' about it," the plant insisted. "I belong to myself. People don't know everything. I'm not native to Japan, but there are areas in the country where shrub brush grows well. I fight for a place in these wild areas, and I triumph. Despite the nearby river where people say I should never be, I've found a place to grow in soil that is fairly dry. I've sent my seeds out into the forest and I know some have taken root, because I seen *their* seeds. There are challenges here, and I don't win every battle, but I survive. I am free and refused to be tamed. I am a weed."

Kuno looked at the plant while he fought with himself. He knew the plant was a garden plant, but Thyme's words sounded like something Kuno would say to his own naysayers. Unfortunately, the words also sounded like something Akane Tendo or Ranma Saotome would say. The young man's thoughts tumbled over themselves, giving him a migraine headache. Thyme kept silent while watching him wrestle with himself. Kuno stood there until he noticed the plant was full and healthy. Obviously, it knew something about itself that Kuno did not. Finally, Kuno declared: "Then there is no sin in being a weed." The headache eased with those words, even though the uncomfortable feeling grew a little.

"I never thought so," Thyme agreed.

Kuno shook his head to clear it and then crouched with a thoughtful look on his face. "Is the monster truly invincible?" he asked.

"No," Thyme said. "But it's not a monster either. "It's just a creature looking for food, and it eats anything smaller than itself.

"But it's a giant scorpion! Its venom must be deadly," Kuno proclaimed.

"Not everything is as it seems. It's not really a scorpion and it has no real stinger," Thyme explained patiently. "There's a chemical in its seed pod that overwhelms insects and other small animals when they try to eat it – it usually lies dormant until they are stunned and then it absorbs them for fertilizer. But, if that doesn't happen before the pod starts to die, then the seed pod uses its last bit of energy to try and hunt insects. It looks like a scorpion and has snapping claws, so it's called a 'scorpion pepper'."

"But plants don't hunt!" Kuno challenged.

"Ever heard of a venus fly trap?" Thyme shot back.

"But they don't move!" Tatewaki said (somehow missing the fact that they usually don't talk either).

"Yes, we do – just very slowly usually. And our seed pods often have adaptations that allow them to travel much faster to spread the seeds. Case in point –" Thyme replied while indicating the pepper.

"Were those really in a tart?" Kuno asked with some disbelief.

"Humans are funny creatures. They eat all sorts of strange foods. When you cook a scorpion pepper, it stays dormant longer, but any food made with them has a short shelf life before the pepper runs away. You also have to take them straight from the vine before you cook them," Thyme explained.

"Who eats those?" Kuno asked with more disbelief.

"Actually, only the Queen of Hearts and her husband. She really likes to eat them. The King is not as enthusiastic, but he is the only other person I know who – " Thyme stopped suddenly. Then Kuno watched their conversation run backwards. Thyme shoved Kuno in front of itself and time ran forward again. "Look," Thyme continued as it shoved Kuno behind itself again. "Will you agree to leave the scorpion pepper alone so I can stop the loop?"

Kuno sighed with annoyance. "Fine. I will not attack it anymore."

"Geez, you're welcome," the plant groused back. "Now just stay hidden and watch." Tatewaki did as he was told. A short time later a huge house fly flew near the scorpion pepper and the pepper leaped at it. It caught the fly and crashed back to earth with it. Then the pepper cut it up, and ate it. The pepper just stood there not moving for a full minute, and then its body collapsed in on itself. Obviously, the seed pod was done. "The seed pod needs more fertilizer than what its environment will provide, so needs to make a kill before it can germinate. Now it has what it needs, so it's stopped moving," Thyme explained. "It has absorbed the fly's body and now the seeds can sprout. See? Not a monster – just a hunter."

Kuno watched as the deflated scorpion remain unmoving. "Well, it's dead any way," he groused.

"We are all mortal," Thyme told him. "Including you. If I hadn't stuck you in a time loop, you'd be dead right now."

Kuno struggled with this idea. He wanted to reject it, but he could remember each of the one thousand deaths very vividly. He could not deny those memories, even if he didn't understand them at the time. Finally, his honor compelled him to say words he'd never thought he'd utter: "Thank you for saving my life. I am in your debt."

Thyme watched him struggle with the words. "At least you've come that far," the plant said. "But not far enough. Fine, you're in my debt. Do you want to discharge that debt?"

"Yes, anything!" Kuno answered easily enough.

"Fine," the plant said again. "From here on in, in whatever house you live in, you must keep a plant box in the kitchen and one of the plants must be Thyme. The plant will live out its natural life and then die. When it does, you will sow a new plant. Having to replace the plant periodically will remind you that they are mortal – and so are you. Do you agree to do this by your honor?"

"Yes!" Kuno answered quickly. "It will be done." He bowed to Thyme.

The plant nodded back and sighed: "Well, at least there is hope…"

* * *

The woman-in-red watched a full-sized Tatewaki walk downstream. She was also shaking slightly. "A thousand times," she whispered. "He killed himself a thousand times…" A look of disbelief settled on her face. "HE IS A COMPLETE MORON," she yelled suddenly at the afternoon sun. She slapped her hands to her cheeks and moaned softly to herself. "How the hell am I going to get his attention?" she whispered to herself finally. She sank to the ground in despair.

After sitting on the ground for several minutes, she reached into her backpack and pulled out a large book. The woman-in-red looked through it for a bit and then tapped a page. "Forget the caterpillar," she mumbled to herself. "I need a much sharper lesson." She stood up again. "The gloves come off now…"

* * *

A/N: Next up - Not the Caterpillar

* * *

A/N: 11/2/15 - A few corrections added.


	5. Not the Caterpillar

Chapter 5: Not the Caterpillar

Tatewaki proceeded to make his way down the river. It was a little tough considering he was only a few centimeters tall. "I ate that tart, and shrank," he thought. "Maybe it drove all the water out of my body?" He paused, and then continued: "But peppers don't really do that. They just overload pain receptors." He gave another pause. "Of course, they also don't usually hunt people either, so apparently the normal rules don't apply. Damn! This is like being back at that restaurant last May. (1) Have I entered another spirit world?" Kodachi's words about magical protections surrounding Akane Tendo tried to come back to him, but he refused to consider the implications.

Kuno continued down river until he smelled smoke drifting through the air. "That's odd, it smells a bit like tobacco, but not quite," he thought. He decided to investigate in the hope that there was a human nearby who could help him. Tatewaki left the river and carefully made his way through the underbrush, but it took some time given his size. Finally, he moved some grass blades aside and found the source: underneath a tall bush was what seemed to be a young woman lying luxuriously on top of a large mushroom smoking a hookah pipe. The woman had long purple hair and a gorgeously ripe body. Her dress was very gauzy and emphasized her figure rather than hide it. Kuno reflected that she looked a lot like the Amazon Shampoo, but a little more curvy. However, Shampoo definitely did not have large colorful wings on her back, almost like butterfly wings. The woman looked to be similar in size to Kuno, if one ignored the wings.

The winged woman made no notice of Kuno as he approached her and her mushroom. The mushroom was about as tall as Kuno, but had a much larger diameter. The young woman was arranged carefully in the center of the mushroom. There was something very sensuous about her as she lay there on her side. Maybe it was her full bosom or long legs, but Tatewaki was fascinated by the creature. She, on the other hand, ignored him completely.

Finally Kuno spoke in near adoration: "Oh wondrous and most beautiful creature! Obviously you are a goddess come to help me!"

The young woman now looked at Tatewaki with distaste. "Not goddess, idiot. Am heart fairy. Why fairy help you?"

"Because I seek to return to my True Love, but am beset with enchantments," Kuno pleaded.

The fairy looked slightly interested. "True love?" she asked. "How True Love?"

"Because she is a creature of great beauty and fiery nature! Only she is worthy to bear my children!" he exclaimed.

"Really?" the heart fairy questioned. "Go on."

Tatewaki spoke for two hours proclaiming Akane's beauty and noble nature. He also detailed the great lengths to which he tried to prove his love and to break Akane free of the spells that bound her, so sure was he that she would marry him as soon as she was in her right mind again. Kuno described his current plan to go to Nerima and force her to marry him, thus saving her from making a terrible mistake.

As he wound down, the fairy said coyly: "Have great passion for insect."

"But I am not an insect, great lady! I am a human under a spell. I humbly seek your help to break the spell!" he proclaimed.

"Human?" she almost purred. "How interesting. Maybe should help you. After all, is purpose to find deserving human hearts and fill them with love."

"As I have told you, great one; no one is more deserving of your help than I," Kuno proclaimed.

"Fairy see," the beautiful creature said. "Very well." She sat up, which made her dress move in interesting ways. "Take chunk of mushroom and eat. Go back to right size." Tatewaki looked surprised at that. "Is true," the heart fairy said. "Try and see."

Kuno looked at the heart fairy and decided such a beautiful creature would not lie to him. He reached out and broke off a bit of the mushroom. The fairy nodded encouragingly, so he ate the mushroom. As soon as he finished the last bite, he felt a rush in his head and he became dizzy. He closed his eyes and fell to the ground. The dizziness slowly faded and he opened his eyes again. Before him was the fairy, now looking very tiny as she sat on her mushroom. Kuno sat up in relief.

"Are human," the fairy said satisfied. "Wonderful!" she stated as she flew into the air.

"Thank you great fairy," Kuno said. He watched as she flew behind him. Then he heard fabric ripping. "What are you doing?!" he exclaimed.

"Human love only self. Will fill heart with love – my babies. Put empty heart to good use," she replied matter-of-factly. He heard more fabric tearing.

"What?! NO!" he burst out. Tatewaki tried desperately to reach the fairy on his back, but she had positioned herself well. He heard more tearing. As he tried to find the tear, he felt the fairy bite his thumb and his thumb went numb. "NO!"

"Human stop that," she said. "Won't hurt at all. Fairy numb empty heart. Human will be dead before babies eat heart."

Kuno's face went white. Desperately he got up and hurled his back against a tree. The fairy laughed and said: "Fairy too tough for that." He felt the shirt against his skin tear and the fairy bit his back. The skin numbed. "See. It won't hurt at all when reach empty heart." Tatewaki panicked and looked around with wide eyes. Now that he was his proper size, he saw that the river was still relatively close by. He ran the distance as the fairy scolded: "Hard to dig when run." Kuno threw himself in the river. "What? NO!" the fairy screamed.

Tatewaki submerged himself completely. Now he felt a small weight on his back, and claws bit into his skin outside the area that was numb. He reached around his back again and encountered something much larger than the fairy and very hairy. Kuno ripped it off his back and held tight. Once he was sure he had a strong hold of it in his good hand, he broke the surface of the river.

Kuno looked at what he held. It was actually a small cat with purple fur. Again, it was bigger than the fairy, and where the fairy had been proud looking, this drowned animal looked miserable. Not sure what to make of it, Kuno swam to shore, but kept a tight hold on the cat. As he staggered ashore, he looked at the cat and said: "I don't know whether you drove the fairy away, or if you are the fairy. Either way, I'm not letting you go or trusting you." The cat tried to struggle and Kuno said severely: "If you bite or scratch me, I'm breaking your neck and being done with you." The cat went immediately quiet. Somewhere, deep inside himself, Kuno's fledging instinct for self-preservation that the Thyme plant had instilled in him kicked in. "That's strike one," he thought.

He looked around and noted that the river was fairly fast moving; he was a decent way downstream from where he threw himself in. "No matter," he thought. "I wanted to go downstream anyway, but I'm wet and freezing now. I need to find somewhere to get warm again." He looked around and saw a path leading away from the river and decided to follow it. The cat hung passively in his hand as he walked, but his back still felt numb. However, when he tried to feel around his back, he didn't find anything unusual – there was no blood. "The wound is out of reach, but I was sure it would have been bleeding," he thought.

About 300 meters down the path, Kuno came upon a clearing with a building in it. "It looks like a café," Kuno said out loud. "Hopefully it is open." He walked up to the door and tried it. It opened soundlessly. "Hello!" he called out.

"A customer!" a voice yelled out. Suddenly a young woman walked into the room from a door in the back. "Mistress! We have a customer!"

A young man walked out of the kitchen and sized up Kuno. "He's all wet – he needs a caucus race!" he said.

"Not again," Kuno sighed. Then he burst out: "NO, I DON'T! I need a warm fire and some hot food. I have money! Are you open or not?"

"No need to shout," the young man said. "I am a chef. My restaurant doesn't officially open until tomorrow, but I'll be happy to make you an okonomiyaki now."

"Excellent," Kuno said with relief.

The chef looked severely at him then. "You're not allowed to bring your own toppings, though. And I don't cook Heartbreakers."

"What?" Kuno asked.

The chef pointed at the cat. "You have a Heartbreaker there – you can tell by the purple fur!"

"It said it was a Heart Fairy," Kuno answered.

"Yes, they call themselves that," the young woman replied.

The chef turned to the young woman. "Waiter? Take that thing and flush it down the toilet."

"He's a little big to flush down the toilet," she stated.

The chef rolled his eyes. "Not the customer – the Heartbreaker!"

The young woman (waiter?) looked embarrassed. "Yes, mistress," she said meekly.

The woman gestured at Kuno and he tried to hand her the Heartbreaker, but the thing squirmed free and ran for the door. The chef somehow pulled a giant spatula from behind his back and leapt forward. "Oh no you don't!" the chef yelled. He swung the spatula, but missed the Heartbreaker. It ran out the door only to be punted back in by someone outside. The woman snatched it out of air and ran with it toward the back. "Use the plunger to shove it down!" the chef called out.

"Yes, mistress!" the waiter called back.

Kuno looked at the door the cat-thing had tried to leave by and watched as Ryoga walked in, still wearing his white jumpsuit with the heart and "J" symbols. "Hello Chef!" he called out. "Why do you have a Heartbreaker?"

"It's not mine, Knave. He brought it in with him," the Chef said pointing at Kuno.

"You're not allowed to keep them as a pet," Ryoga/Knave said severely.

"It's not a pet! It attacked me!" Kuno said with exasperation.

"Attacked?" the Knave said in shock.

Suddenly the Knave grabbed Kuno and spun him to look at Kuno's back. "Unhand me!" Kuno shouted.

"SHUT UP!" the Knave ordered. "It bit you and clawed its way to your heart! There's a small hole here and it's not bleeding! It must have laid some eggs if you're not bleeding!"

"WAITER! Pour drain cleaner down that toilet after you flush that thing!" the Chef ordered.

"YES, MISTRESS!" the Waiter yelled back. There was the sound of a toilet flushing in the back of the restaurant.

"Crap, crap, crap…" the Chef yelled. "I'll get the headphones!"

"And earplugs!" the Knave yelled.

"Huh?" Kuno said stupidly while turning back.

"How long ago did it bite you?" the Knave asked.

"What?" Kuno said in further confusion.

"The Heartbreaker! How long ago did it bite you?" the Knave demanded.

"About an hour or so," Kuno answered.

"Good! There's time to stop them!" the Knave told him. "We need to give you're the antidote quickly before those eggs hatch."

Kuno sighed as he held his head. "They'll eat my heart, right?"

"Not if we give you the antidote!" the Knave said. "I'll warn you though. If the Heartbreaker thought you were prey, this will hurt a lot, but it's the only cure!"

"Bring it on," Kuno said resignedly.

The Chef came back with a bottle labeled vinegar and a portable CD player with headphones. "Here! Take off your coat and lay face down on the table!" he ordered. Kuno did as he was told and the Chef poured the vinegar onto his back. Kuno felt it run down his sides.

"You just poured vinegar into the wound?" Kuno asked. "Shouldn't that hurt?"

"Only if the bite is not serious!" the Chef said.

"Oh hell…" Kuno muttered.

The Chef put the headphones on Kuno's ears and yelled: "Waiter!" He had to pause as there was another toilet flush. "Is it gone?"

"Yes, Mistress!" the Waiter called back.

"Then get the earplugs out of the cabinet and get out here!"

The Waiter came back at a run. She handed earplugs to the Chef and the Knave. Then she placed a set of plugs in her own ears.

"What are the earplugs for?" Kuno asked.

"To block the music and one other thing…" the chef replied.

"What's that?" Kuno asked again.

The Chef grabbed one arm and the Waiter took another. The Knave grabbed Kuno's legs and everyone held Kuno tight to the table. The Chef said: "The earplugs will also drown out your screaming…" The Chef tapped the play button on the CD player.

Kuno heard an American woman drawl out in English: "Sta-a-a-a-n-n-d b-y your ma-a-an…"

"NOOOO!"

* * *

The music sang on for over two hours. Kuno heard song after song about True Love – about the singer sacrificing everything they could for their love, often getting nothing in return. Sometimes, the song's subject of affection left the singer, and all the singer did was smile knowing that the other person was truly happy. The music pounded on Kuno's soul again and again and again. After the first hour, Kuno began weeping uncontrollably. After the second hour, his back began to burn from the vinegar. Shortly thereafter, the Heartbreaker's larvae gave up and began to crawl out of the wound. The Knave smashed each worm as it left Kuno's body. Finally, Kuno felt warm blood trickling down his side.

The Chef pressed the CD player's stop button and commented: "You're bleeding properly now. That means the Heartbreaker larvae are all gone. We just have to clean the wound and sew it up. I think you've suffered enough though." The Chef promptly hit him and knocked him out.

* * *

When Kuno came back to himself, he was lying on a cot wrapped in a number of blankets. His cot wasn't far from a warm stove. His back hurt fiercely and his thumb was swollen. His head was vibrating with pain as well. He moaned as he tried to get up.

"Welcome back," he heard someone say. Tatewaki looked up to see the Knave walking toward him. "Here, take this," the young man said while handing Kuno some painkillers with a glass of orange juice. "Don't sit up more than you have to and try not to move too much. The wound will heal very fast, but you'll have a scar back there," the Knave said. "Heartbreakers always leave a scar with the survivors."

Kuno asked: "Are those things common around here?"

"No, we try and kill them off. The Love-less like you have enough problems without ending up as a Heartbreaker nursery. She only got five eggs into you though. You threw yourself in the river, didn't you?" At Kuno's nod, the Knave continued: "Forcing them to shape change with water is the only way to stop them. They're nasty things – they will whisper in the ears of the heartbroken, trying to force any Love from the soul. Once they do that, they attack. My friend, the White Duck, once lost all his Love because of one of them. We manage to find him before it finished laying its eggs. Once the Heartbreaker finished that, it would have numbed his heart and he would have died – it was a close call. He too has a scar, but he's a lot better these days – he know he has friends, and there's enough women interested in him that he knows he'll find his own True Love one day."

"Can I ask a question?" Kuno requested.

The Knave looked at him curiously. "You did ask a question," the Knave replied.

Kuno sighed. He fought down a retort and said instead: "Sorry. I phrased that wrong – I meant another one. Is your name Ryoga?"

The Knave looked surprised: "If you want to ask that, you certainly phrased it wrong. That Heartbreaker really did a number on you." Kuno winced and just nodded, so the Knave answered: "No, I am the Knave of Hearts. Sometimes I am called 'Jack.'"

"Thank you, Jack, for your help," Kuno forced himself to say.

Jack smiled. "You're welcome." The Knave motioned for Kuno to take the pills, so Tatewaki did. Then the Knave stood up and washed the juice glass with hot water. Once he was done, he said: "The Waiter has taken your clothes away to wash and dry them." Kuno noted that he was wrapped in a warm robe. The Knave continued: They should be ready in the morning. In the meantime, you should eat and then rest. I'll go get some food for you." Kuno nodded his thanks so the Knave left.

Kuno lay back down trying to get his bearings. "Love-less. The Heartbreaker attacked me because it said I Ioved no one. But I love Akane Tendo! Don't I?" he asked himself.

As if in answer to that thought, Kuno heard a clanking coming from under the sink. The sound started out echoing a bit but seemed to become clearer as it became louder. Kuno sat up with apprehension. As he watched, a small badly burned creature crawled out of the drain. With a start, Kuno recognized it as the Heartbreaker. The thing moaned and cursed as it cleared the edge of the sink and looked around. It spied Kuno and glared. "Stupid useless idiot!" it hissed angrily. "Cost Heart Fairy babies! Can't have more 'til next season. Fill your empty heart then!" It snorted and added maliciously: "At least Heart Fairy not waste heart like idiot!" With that, it jumped out the window into the night before Kuno could gather his wits. Still stunned, Tatewaki lay back down and stared at nothing with a lost expression.

* * *

Kuno was stretched out on the kitchen table of an otherwise empty house – its owners off somewhere for the Holiday. The young man's torso was bare and he was lying on his stomach. Nari checked the blood oozing from a small hole in his back, just off-center and then looked at the glowing knife in her hands. "There," she said to herself. "I mustn't overdo it. I have enough of his blood and flesh to heal my face. If he doesn't bow to the White Queen, at least I will have gotten that much Vengeance."

She carefully took the knife over to the kitchen counter and wiped the blade on a flour poultice she had made. Then she kneaded the dough mixture into a small ball and picked it up. Nari walked into a short hallway where there was a mirror at eye level. She looked at the still-raw gash Kuno had made on her face. "Blood of my enemy, flesh of my enemy," she intoned solemnly as she held up the poultice. The mage pressed the soft mass into the deep cut on her face and then lifted it away. The cut sealed and vanished wherever the dough touched her face. Nari continued to press it to her face over and over again until the messy gash was completely gone. She looked at the final results and then nodded. "Good as new," she said with satisfaction. Now that she was finished with it, she popped the poultice into her mouth and swallowed it without chewing.

Nari walked back into the kitchen and over to Tatewaki. He lay with his head to one side and Nari studied the deep gash that was now present on the side of his face. "You're lucky, boy," she commented to the unconscious man. "That will heal. It will take a while, but it will heal completely – one of the benefits of being mortal. Still, I can't have you bleeding all over the place." With that, she took out a needle and thread and sewed up Kuno's face. When she finished, she placed a bandage over her work. "You won't even have a scar – unless I want a similar one," she stated to him matter-of-factly.

Nari's gaze drifted down Kuno's back to the hole she had made. It had now clotted over. An edge crept into her voice as she added: "I want to make sure you end up with a proper scar there though – I never want you to forget the Heartbreaker – or how it felt to be used for someone else's ends."

She looked around at the mess she had made. "I need to clean up," she thought. "It wouldn't be good if I left any trace of Blood Magic here. At least the owners of this house are gone until after New Years. We can rest here for a day or so while he heals and I can get some food into him. I also need to clean my red dress. Then we need to move along to Nerima – he has an appointment to keep with the White Queen…"

* * *

A/N: Footnotes:

1) Happened in "The Date - The Flip Side."

* * *

A/N: Next up - "The Mad Breakfast"


	6. The Mad Breakfast

Chapter 6: The Mad Breakfast

Kuno woke up the next morning feeling slightly better. His back still hurt, but his thumb was no longer swollen and his headache was gone. He sat up slightly and looked around the room. There was an empty cot on the other side of the stove that obviously had been slept in last night. Judging from the white jump suit next to it, the Knave had used the cot. Looking further about, Tatewaki noted a tall pantry cabinet in the corner. He also noticed a large blue-black panther sitting on top of the cabinet. "Ah hell," Kuno moaned.

The cat grinned at him. "And good morning to you too, your Majesty."

"What?" Kuno asked crossly.

"Your Majesty," the cat repeated. "Seems the Red Queen is hunting for her Love. Judging from the description, she talking about you."

"Where did you hear that?" Tatewaki demanded.

"The Red Queen stopped by the Duchess's place early this morning," the cat answered. "Apparently, the Queen had heard through the grapevine that you were there two days ago. The Duchess grumbled that she should have burned the vineyard down, but what's done is done. Unfortunately, the Duchess didn't know where you had gone, so the Queen had the Duchess arrested for losing you."

Kuno sighed and rolled his eyes. The cat continued: "Mary Ann had been out back at the time and overheard the conversation. She decided that she really needed to be elsewhere." The great cat shrugged and added: "I decided to follow her."

"I thought they didn't allow pets in a restaurant?" Kuno asked.

The panther looked a little cross at that: "My humans are allowed anywhere I am. We don't discriminate against them here. As it is, I have to figure out how to get the Duchess out of the pound."

Kuno watched the panther's claws flex and fought down his reply – somehow, the Thyme plant's lesson was still with him. Instead he pursued: "If the Red Queen is only a human, why don't you just demand the Duchess back?"

The cat looked at Kuno with a raised eyebrow and answered amusedly: "First off, the Red Queen is not human. Secondly, I'm not silly enough to walk up to a wild animal and demand it do what I tell it." Kuno felt the cat was somehow making fun of him with that statement. "Sometimes, you're better off working around the obstacle. Or better yet, distracting it." The cat stopped suddenly and sat up a little with that thought. It was frozen for a few moments, and then vanished.

"Wait!" Kuno cried. "What was that about her not being human?"

"Who are you talking to?" the Waiter asked as she/he walked in.

"There was a great…" Kuno started and then trailed off.

"A grate?" the Waiter questioned. "But there's no fireplace back here and the oven only has racks – they don't really talk though other than to yell 'Foods done!' or 'Clean me!' every now and then."

Kuno shook himself. "No, no," he started again. He figured that he better finish what he was saying. "There was a great cat sitting on top of the pantry, and it just vanished."

"A blue-black panther? The hide almost seems that it glows?" the Waiter asked.

"You've seen it then?" Kuno said as he sat up and put his feet on the floor with surprise.

"Oh no. I've never seen him. You see, he cannot be seen," the Waiter stated.

"But I did see it!" Kuno shouted as he pointed at the pantry. "It was there!"

"Oh, I don't doubt it was there – but you cannot see it," the Waiter clarified.

"Huh?" Kuno asked intelligently.

"There are many things that you cannot see, but they are quite real. They prove their existence because they leave their impressions on us and the rest of the world. That cat is one of them," the Waiter explained. "If you were to try and video tape him, nothing would show up. He tries to convince everyone that he is a figment of our imaginations, but he's quite real. 'Oh No' makes up for all the things people tell us that are real, but are not."

"Oh no?"

"'Oh No' is the Cat's name – or at least what everyone says when he's about."

"All right, that I sort of understand," Kuno replied.

"I better warn my Mistress," the Waiter added. "We are about to have a very good Opening Day."

"Isn't that what you want?" Kuno asked, not quite following the logic (somehow this didn't surprise him).

"Yes, but any plans we had just flew out the window…" the Waiter said as he/she turned and left the room, leaving a very confused Kuno behind.

A few moments later, Kuno heard "ARGGHHH!" The voice contained an enormous amount of frustration. It was definitely a woman's voice – a man's just couldn't reach those notes with that yell.

"I guess the Waiter told her," Kuno thought. "I have to admit that was my feeling when I saw him again too."

* * *

A little later, the Waiter came back with Kuno's clothes. "Was there a dye packet in your clothes?" the woman (?) asked. "I didn't wash them with anything else, but they have all become bright red."

Tatewaki looked at the clothes. Sure enough, all his clothes were now a brilliant red. "What the hell is going on?" Kuno thought. His mind went back to the "woman in red." His clothes were the exact same color as the dress she had been wearing. Out loud, Kuno replied: "I don't know what caused that; there was nothing in my clothes. But, at least these are clean and warm. Thank you –" Kuno paused for a moment and tried: "Waiter…."

The Waiter smiled and answered: "You're welcome. My Mistress has some food ready for you."

Tatewaki decided to test the waters again. "Your Mistress looks very proper in her chef's clothes."

The Waiter nodded and said: "Yes, she does, but she's married."

Kuno winced internally at seeming to overstep his bounds. "I was merely observing," he replied quickly. "I didn't mean to imply anything forward. I'm sure her husband is a good man."

The Waiter smiled and replied in turn: "I like to think I am. Come now, let's get some breakfast into you. Then I'm afraid we have other things to see to. As I mentioned, today is our Opening Day. All the pies you can eat – we are hoping to serve over a thousand today!"

"An ambitious goal," Tatewaki murmured. "The bathroom is down that hallway?" he asked.

At the Waiter's nod, Tatewaki got up and started to walk to the hallway when the Waiter made him pause by saying: "Did you know you're casting two shadows?"

Kuno stopped and looked at the floor. Sure enough, the light from the window was causing two shadows to appear on the floor. Neither shadow was where it should be given the light source. The effect made Kuno uneasy, but he dismissed it by saying: "The light must be bouncing off the glass a little weirdly." With that, he continued on his way.

* * *

Kuno walked into the dining room and saw the Chef, the Knave, and the Waiter seated at a large round table. Stacks of trays containing breakfast okonomiyaki, assorted fruits, vegetables and drinks sat on a turntable that was almost as wide as the table – there was barely room for the plates everyone used. "Come, come!" the Chef called out. "We need to get you fed. Then I'm afraid you'll need to stay in the back room. We can't have you underfoot today!"

Kuno sat down with a nod. "I won't be – I need to move on."

"Move on what?" the Knave asked.

"I mean I have to continue my journey," Kuno explained.

"Well, I guess that's all right," the Chef added. "But be careful not to stress the stitches in your back. I'd stay away from Heartbreakers – they'll have an easier time with that hole."

"I will," Kuno promised.

The Waiter got up and served him an okonomiyaki. Kuno nodded and began eating. When he was halfway done, the Knave called out: "Please spin the Busy Susan so I can have some cream."

Kuno remembered something from his English class and said: "I thought it was called a 'Lazy Susan'?"

The Chef looked displeased. "Now you've done it!" she said. "You've hurt her feelings and she won't work now!"

Kuno looked confused and reached out his hand to the turntable. It wouldn't budge.

"You need to apologize!" the Chef insisted.

"But I'm sure it's called a Lazy Susan," Kuno replied.

"Do you normally call someone who works constantly lazy?" the Chef challenged.

Kuno stopped for a second. "Admittedly, the name I was taught doesn't make any sense…" he slowly confessed.

"Then you should apologize!" the Chef admitted again.

"You want me to apologize to a tabletop?" Kuno asked slowly, sure she was insane.

"Of course!" chimed in the Knave. "Wouldn't you want an apology if someone wronged you?"

Kuno was starting to get mad, but remembered the Thyme plant and the cat, which shouldn't have been able to talk. "The tabletop can hear me?" he pressed.

"Duh! It stopped working when you insulted it," the Chef said crossly.

"I'm surrounded my mad people and things," Kuno thought. Again, he started to get angry, but he was terribly hungry and there was food in front of him. "I need to make them happy and get the hell out of here," he said silently to himself. Out loud, he said to the tabletop: "I am terribly sorry for insulting you."

"Is that the best you can do?" the Waiter asked after trying to spin the Busy Susan.

Kuno swallowed bile now. "Oh wondrous device!" he proclaimed through gritted teeth. "None can express how noble your service is to all" – he was about to say 'mankind', but thought better of it – "of us. Please excuse my ignorance regarding your true name. I beg of you, please do not let my mistake tarnish your clean surface!" His eyes widen as the Busy Susan reluctantly rotated the cream to the Knave.

The Chef addressed the Busy Susan: "Thank you very much." To Kuno, she added: "See how a little politeness goes a long way?"

Kuno was busy looking under the table to everyone else's confusion. "If a motor did that, it was the quietest motor ever," he thought. He peeked between the Busy Susan's bottom and the table's top. All he saw was the simple gimbal mechanism. Suddenly, the Busy Susan spun quickly and stopped shortly, sending a pitcher of cold water onto his head. Tatewaki sat up in shock.

"You shouldn't under a lady's skirt like that," scolded the Waiter sharply. "Even if she's not human."

Kuno blew water out of his mouth and muttered in confusion: "I'm sorry. I'm not myself."

The other three looked at each other and then at him. "Then who are you?" asked the Knave.

"I mean, I must be still suffering from the after-effects of the Heartbreaker's attack," Kuno answered. "I cannot think clearly."

"Well, I suppose that beats not being able to think at all," the Chef replied. "Are you sure you need to travel today?"

"Yes…yes I do. I have to rescue my love," he answered, still confused.

"But you don't have a …." the Chef started only to be cut off by a hand gesture from the Knave.

"I think he's right," the Knave said quietly. "He's still in shock from the Heartbreaker. Let's get some food into him and see if that settles his mind." To the Busy Susan, the Knave said: "Please understand that he was attacked by a Heartbreaker yesterday."

The Busy Susan was unmoving for a moment and then slowly rotated a cup of tea to Kuno. Kuno looked at the cup and then took it. "Thank you," he said in a daze.

The Chef, the Waiter, and the Knave watched him carefully until he set down the tea and took a bite of okonomiyaki again. Then the Chef looked at the Waiter and said: "Give him another okonomiyaki. We have the money."

Kuno shook himself and looked at the Chef. "I have money. I can pay for my food. I also owe you helping me yesterday," he said.

The Chef looked thoughtful. "That's true. The Opening is today, not yesterday. I can charge you for the food for yesterday. We should break even then."

"Break even?" Kuno questioned. "I'm in your debt, and I'm happy to pay for your services and food. You should do better than break even."

"But today is our Opening! We have to pay you for eating our food!" the Chef insisted. The two men nodded in agreement.

Kuno stared at the three of them for a moment and stated slowly and carefully: "It's not unusual for restaurants to cut their prices or even offer free food on their Opening Day, but nobody pays people to eat their food unless there is something wrong with it – and there is certainly nothing wrong with this food."

The Chef looked pleased for a moment, but a worried expression stole over her face. "But we need to stand out. Everyone offers something on their Opening Day. We need to give money away!" she said.

Kuno closed his eyes. "Ever since I got off that train, I've been dealing with lunatics." He paused and then thought some more. Something stirred deep inside him: "But these people helped me – I will not let them go bankrupt. Let's try this…" Out loud he said: "If you want to give money away, do it this way: Charge full price for the first okonomiyaki and then charge full price for the second okonomiyaki. If they eat both pies, give the customer a reward – give him the cost of one pie back."

"But isn't that a two-for-one deal," the Knave asked.

"No," Kuno insisted firmly. He then proceeded carefully – he knew he needed to get the wording exactly right: "You charged them for two pies and you took their money. The transaction is done and the money is yours. But, then you will reward customers if they eat both pies. *But only* if they eat them both. You're rewarding them for clearing their plates!"

"What if they eat three pies?" the Waiter asked.

"But they can't eat three pies at once," Kuno explained. "They can only eat one at a time. Eating one pie doesn't get them a reward. But if they eat two pies, then the sequence ends with them getting a reward. The next pie they eat is a new beginning, and they may get a new reward. You're still giving money away. Actually this way, you can give even more money away, because you don't have to rely on what you have on hand."

The Chef looked convinced (and maybe a little excited), but the Knave was still troubled. "Has anyone else ever done this?" he asked.

"Many governments do," Kuno answered. "They take money from their people all year long. If their people do certain things by the end of the year, the people get a reward."

"But that's a tax refund," the Knave pressed. "The people are getting their own money back."

"Advanced thinking from these folks?" Kuno thought. "I don't think so. Let's put a spike in that…" Out loud, Kuno questioned: "Really? Do you really think the government holds on to each yen coin someone gives it for an entire year, just to give some of the coins back or does the government spend it immediately?"

"I guess it spends the money immediately," the Knave answered.

"So how is it a refund?" Kuno asked. "They just give out money they took from someone else. The government is very good at taking money."

"I suppose that's true," the Knave agreed.

"And if people were just getting their own money back, why do they go out and blow it as if they received an unexpected windfall?" Kuno continued. "What did you buy with your last so-called 'tax refund'?" he pressed.

"A new TV," the Knave admitted.

"Were you expecting the money?" Kuno asked. The Knave shook his head. "So how is it yours until they handed it to you?"

"All right, I see your point," the Knave gave in.

"No, you don't," Kuno sighed internally. "You're just like everyone else who gives the government a free loan. You cannot see further than this week if you are lucky, but it will get you to do what I want anyway – the restaurant will not go bankrupt."

"You seem to fit right in," Mary Ann said to Kuno as she entered the room from outside.

Normally, Kuno would have said that he was surprised to see her, but the truth of the matter was that he was surprised that he wasn't surprised. "I just figured she was about because 'Oh No' told me so," he guessed.

"Maybe you should stay here with us?" She walked over to the Knave and caressed his cheek.

"No, I need to move on," Kuno said.

"Move on to…" Mary Ann started.

"He means he has to continue his journey, Love," the Knave explained.

"What an odd phrase," Mary Ann commented. Kuno just shrugged his shoulders as she sat down and knocked on the Busy Susan. It rotated the okonomiyaki stack to her. Mary Ann looked at the Chef and asked: "How long until you open?"

"About two hours or so," the Waiter answered. "We are all set, so there's nothing to do but wait. Maybe we could tell stories to pass the time?"

Kuno was about to try and down-play that particular idea when he swore he saw the sugar bowl wink at him. This caused his brain to pause and he missed his chance as a result. Mary Ann replied instead: "That's a wonderful idea!"

The Chef chimed in: "But I hate stories with sad or pointless endings, so you have to tell me the ending first so I know it will be a happy ending." The others all nodded assent, except for Kuno who was staring intently at the sugar bowl. Actually the sugar bowl was very large – it was more like a jar and had on a tight fitting lid.

"All right, I can go first if you like," offered the Knave. "I'm finished eating."

"Wait!" The Chef called out. "I have to pay you."

"Did he pay?" Kuno asked while watching the sugar jar.

"Umm…no," the Chef answered.

"He has to pay first," Kuno replied.

"I don't want to charge him," the Chef said. "He's a friend!"

"And I ate three pies," the Knave said.

"Then you both have to agree you're even and start over," Kuno answered illogically. He stood up and took the lid off the sugar jar. There was nothing in it but the expected white crystals. He replaced the lid and sat down.

"O.K.!" they both replied.

"That little piece of 'not logic' was way too easy," Kuno thought. "I'm going to pay for it somehow." Just as he finished that particular thought trend, the large teapot winked at him. The lid had risen slightly and Kuno was sure he saw an eye that closed momentarily and then opened again. Then the eye sank out of sight and the lid resumed its previous position.

Meanwhile, the Knave decided to start his story: ".dne ehT .retfa reve ylippah devil lla yeht dnA…"

The string of unintelligible sounds distracted Kuno from his staring match with the teapot. After a moment or so, Tatewaki recognized the speech pattern from his encounter with the Thyme plant. He rested his hands on the table and placed his head in his hands.

"Hold on," the Waiter complained. "I can't understand what you are saying."

Meanwhile Kuno gave in to temptation and grabbed the teapot. It contained only tea.

"But she asked me to give the ending first," the Knave protested while indicating the Chef.

"Yes, but don't reverse the very sounds. We have to be able to understand you or it's not a story," the Waiter said.

Kuno went back to holding his head – he knew the Waiter's comment wasn't going to fix anything.

The Knave thought about that for a few moments. "All right," he finally agreed. "Should I start over?"

"Please do," the Chef entreated.

"And here it comes," Kuno thought.

The Knave started again: ".end The .after ever happily lived they And…."

Kuno began tapping his head on the table. He continued to do that for a few minutes until he heard the Knave said the words 'Baby Pig'. "Baby Pig", Tatewaki thought. "No, he meant pig-baby."

"Hold on a moment," Kuno called out. "Are you married to Mary Ann?"

"Why, yes I am," the Knave responded.

"What of it?" Mary Ann asked.

Kuno reached over and grabbed the cream. "Your son's in the cream jug." He pulled the lid off of the large cream jug and the pig-baby popped its head out of it. Kuno handed the jug to Mary Ann. Meanwhile his mind was screaming at him – there was something he should remember. He thought to himself: "There's no rational way I could or should have known that. I'm starting to anticipate how events flow and how these people think, as if I've been here before. This is madness! I have to get out of here quickly!"

* * *

A/N: Next up - The Caucus Race


	7. The Caucus Race

Chapter 7: The Caucus Race

Mary Ann pulled the pig-baby out of the jug. "How did you know where he was?" Mary Ann asked Kuno.

Kuno blew out a big breath. "Lucky guess," Kuno answered. He stood up then and stated: "I must be on my way."

"Oh please don't say that! If the Queen hears that, she'll be terribly upset. She insists on everything being her way!" Mary Ann said quickly.

Again, something starting screaming in the back of Kuno's mind, but he couldn't understand it. "I mean I have to continue my journey," he explained carefully.

"Oh, I guess that's all right," she replied hesitantly.

Kuno laid 15000 yen on the table. "This should cover my expenses, but not my gratitude. I'm afraid it will have to do." The Waiter left to retrieve Kuno's coat, hat, and gloves.

"But it's too much!" the Chef cried. "I have to figure out your bill first!"

"Then the rest is a gift to celebrate your Opening Day," Kuno insisted. The Chef looked like she was about to object until Kuno cut her off by saying: "Please! You run a business, and you have done a good job. The food was excellent. If nothing else, consider it an advance payment for my next visit."

"Well…all right," the Chef finally accepted.

"Thank you. I wish you good luck on the rest of the day." With that, Kuno accepted his hat, gloves, and coat while noting that the hole the Heartbreaker had left was sewn up. Then he turned and left the restaurant.

* * *

Once outside, he looked around. The restaurant sat in the middle of a large field surrounded by woods. The woods were about quarter of a kilometer away on all sides. Somehow, the restaurant seemed larger on the outside than it did on the inside. "More madness," he thought. "Definitely time to leave." Kuno could not see a road leading from the woods to the restaurant, but he could see many trails disappearing into the woods themselves. He looked at the sun and quickly figured out where south was. "Nerima is that way," he said to himself. He strode away from the restaurant purposely.

About halfway there, he turned around to check his surroundings when something caught his attention. He stared hard at the ground, facing away from the sun. "What the hell?" he thought. He closed his eyes and opened them again carefully. It was still there – the second shadow he had seen at the restaurant was still with him. He was throwing two shadows – neither of which was placed properly given the location of the sun. Both of them were the same size, but one shadow – the left one – was slightly fainter than the other. "In the restaurant, the left one was also faded too. That's why I thought it was just the window light bouncing funny. But, there's no second of source of light out here, and the left one is darker now." He stared a little longer at his two shadows, but nothing else occurred to him, so he gave up, turned back to his chosen direction, and continued walking.

He was almost to the woods on the south side of the restaurant when a group of people emerged from the woods in front of him. Kuno counted fifteen people, two of which were leading horses. Most of them were men wearing red armor and the sole woman was dressed in royal robes decorated with hearts.

"Oh crap!" Kuno thought. Somehow, someway, some revelations were starting to leak into his brain. "That's not Akane Tendo, no matter how much she looks like her."

The woman saw him before her and screamed: "Off with his head!"

"Victory or Death!" the warriors yelled.

Kuno turned and bolted, heading not back to the restaurant, but toward the east side of the woods. He figured that since the men were in armor and the queen who looked like Akane Tendo was in a full dress, he'd use the terrain to put some distance between himself and the group. However, as he neared his goal, another group boiled out of the east woods. This group was all women, mostly dressed in white jumpsuits. In their midst was a woman dressed in a full red gown. "My Love comes to me! Test him my loyal subjects! Make him prove his love for me!" she exclaimed.

Kuno stopped and looked around to pick a new direction. Meanwhile, the first group came within shouting distance. "They're my subjects, Red" the queen dressed in hearts called out. "You just asked to borrow them for a bit. Well, a bit has passed. I want them back!"

"Very well, Hearts. I'll take my men back!" the woman in red called out.

"Wait," one of the women called out. "Does that mean we can't keep him" – She pointed at Kuno – "if we get him to surrender?"

"Oh, that's still on," the woman in red replied. "You just need your Queen's permission to chase him."

"Please Queen Akane!" the woman addressed the queen dressed in hearts. "Queen Suzume has promised that the one who defeats him may marry him!"

Kuno was stunned by the name 'Akane', but he tried to protest anyway. "Now wait a minute…" he started, but he had to dodge a mallet thrown by Queen Akane.

"Off with his…" Queen Akane yelled.

"NO!" her subjects cried. "Let us have him!"

Queen Akane stopped and looked at the Red Queen. "You're all right with this, Red?"

Red shrugged her shoulders and replied: "Only by defeating all of them can he prove his love to me."

"NOW SEE HERE!" Kuno shouted. "I AM NOT YOURS!"

"How dare you speak to my Queen like that even if you are the King!" one of the man-at-arms said while drawing his sword. All his comrades followed suit and began stalking towards Kuno.

"Oh crap…" Kuno said in a low voice as he backed away from the soldiers. Then he turned and bolted toward the restaurant.

"God save the Queen!" the men shouted as they gave chase.

"Please your Majesty!" several woman pleaded to Queen Akane.

Queen Akane sighed. "All right, as you wish…" She waved her hand at the fleeing man.

"Thank you!" the women called out en masse as they gave chase as well.

Kuno ran to the restaurant. He had managed to keep his head start and increase his lead, but the two sets of pursuers were still coming toward him. He grabbed the door and tried to open it, but the door was locked. "Please!" he yelled out. "Please open the door!"

"Sorry," he heard the Chef's voice sing out. "We don't open for another hour or so! Please come back then!"

Kuno was about to yell again, but the crowd was getting too close. "Damn!" he said out loud and looked around desperately. Seeing nothing to aid him, he ran along the side of the building and turned the corner. Then he ran along the building again. He would swear the building was now the size of a soccer field.

Just as he reached the next corner, he heard behind him: "There he is!" Kuno looked back and saw a group of women who had just come around the corner themselves, but they were only about twenty meters behind him.

"What the hell?" he thought. "I ran a lot farther than that!" As he looked around the corner in front of him, the building seemed to be about a hundred meters long. Kuno ran around the corner anyway.

He sprinted to the next corner and again heard the cry of "There he is!" Looking back, the building side was now only twenty meters again. Kuno ran around the third corner to see another 100 meter length until the next corner. He also saw the last of his pursuers vanishing around the far corner. He debated running away from the building and making a break across the clearing, but as he looked at the distant woods, the trees seemed to recede even further into the distance.

"REALLY!" he yelled out as he turned the corner to stay away from his chasers. He ran another 100 meters along the building, and paused to look around the fourth corner. To his surprise, he saw no one in sight. As he turned to look back on his side, he saw the crowd again turn the corner and, again, they were only twenty meters away. He dodged around the fourth corner and, a little ways down, tried the door again, but it was still locked so he ran on.

And so it went. Kuno ran around and around the square building with his pursuers always just one building length behind him. In front of him, the building always seemed to be a hundred meters long; behind him, it was always twenty meters long. Occasionally, as he turned a corner, he would see the last of his pursuers run around the far corner. If he stopped, his pursuers closed in on him rapidly. As long as he ran, they stayed a little less than one building length behind him. "What the hell is going on?!" he thought desperately as he stopped to catch his breath.

Behind him he heard the cry again of "There he is!" Kuno groaned and ran around the corner again. As soon as he was out of sight of his pursuers, he felt something snatch him off the ground and throw him up on the roof, about five meters from the edge. Recovering his wits at the sudden intervention, Kuno looked back at the roof edge where he saw the great blue-black panther sitting and watching something below with amusement.

The cat turned and looked at Kuno. Then it grinned hugely. It faded out until only the grin remained, and then the grin began to sing:

"Backward, forward, outward, inward  
Bottom to the top  
Never a beginning  
There can never be a stop

To skipping, hopping, tripping  
Fancy free and gay  
I started it tomorrow but will finish yesterday

Round and round and round we go  
Until for evermore  
Once we were behind  
But now we find we are

Forward, backward, inward, outward  
Come and join the chase!" (1)

Kuno's face paled. The part of his brain that had been screaming at him for the last few days finally made itself heard. "No…" he whispered. "No…" He got up and walked to the edge of the building and then stared down. The Red Queen, her men, the Queen of Hearts, and her subjects were all running around the building, which apparently was a square, 30 meters on a side – at least from Kuno's perspective now. The chasers formed a complete circle around the building, ever convinced their target was just around the next corner. The two knights' horses stood some ways back grazing and watching the festivities. The woods was now about half a kilometer away in a complete circle around the building. "No…" Kuno repeated once more.

The great cat gradually became fully visible once more. It looked down at the pursuers. "Don't say it!" Kuno said in a low harsh voice.

The cat looked over at him and smirked: "Oh look! A Caucus Race!"

"I. Hate. You," Kuno grated out at his companion.

* * *

Kuno looked longer at the Caucus Race and then sat down away from the edge of the roof. "Why did you pull me up?" he finally asked the cat.

"Because I used you as a diversion to rescue the Duchess," the cat explained. "Now we are even."

Tatewaki thought about that for a minute. Unfortunately, the grinning cat was all he had. "No, we're not. You know what's going on. You can tell me how to get out of here."

"Of course I can, your Majesty," the cat answered while winking. "I know how to create another diversion and you'll be able to leave. The question is 'Where will you go?' And 'Should you go?' You seem to fit right in here."

"I have to go rescue my Love!" Kuno insisted.

The panther dropped its grin, but raised an eyebrow. "You don't have a Love," it said bluntly. "If you did, the Heartbreaker would have had no chance against you. You don't know how to love anyone but yourself."

"I love Akane Tendo!" Tatewaki said in a low harsh voice. "And she loves me!"

"No, she doesn't – she told you herself. Or at least her shadow did," the cat replied.

"Her shadow?"

A cry came back over the roof edge: "Find him! Off with head!"

"Her shadow," the cat reiterated. "Queen Akane, the Queen of Hearts – as you finally figured out – is a shadow of Akane Tendo in this realm."

"So, I'm not in the real world!" Kuno demanded.

The cat shrugged. "Who is to say what is 'real'. I'm quite imaginary after all…"

"No! You're not!" Kuno fired back. "The Cheshire Cat in 'Through The Looking Glass' represented imaginary numbers in complex mathematics – you're not him."

"The name of the story was 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland'," the cat explained patiently. "The sequel was called 'Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There'. The Cheshire Cat appeared in the first story only." The cat shrugged again and continued on: "So if I'm not him, who am I? I do seem to be able to fade in and out though. I know a Duchess and a Mary Ann…"

"That's not who they are either!" Kuno said standing up. "If the Queen of Hearts is the shadow of Akane Tendo, then the Duchess is the shadow of the Amazon Cologne. And Mary Ann is the shadow of that girl that hangs around Ryoga and …" Kuno stopped short with his mouth open. After a few moments, he sank to the rooftop again. "They're all shadows…" he whispered. "I'm lost among shadows…"

"You're not lost, your Majesty. You've finally come home," the cat said with amusement.

"No – I am Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" Kuno yelled. It was amazing no one on the ground heard him.

"Really?" the cat challenged. "You graduated from Furinkan High – you're not from there. Right now, you are from Hokkaido. And no one but you has ever called you the 'Blue Thunder'."

"I rule Furinkan High!" Kuno insisted.

"For a while there, you were the lead jock – that's it," the cat said. Then it started to grin again, and added: "At least until Ranma of Nerima arrived."

"Ranma Saotome is nothing but a trickster and a playboy!" Kuno snapped back. "He is nothing compared to me!"

"No," the panther disagreed. "He is exactly like you. He is nothing but a shadow – although in his case, he's a shadow of Ranma of Nerima. And just like the Blue Thunder, Ranma Saotome does not exist in the Real World. Indeed, his shadow has vanished from all of Japan – it only exists here now."

Kuno stopped in confusion. "Ranma Saotome is dead? Am I dead?" he asked.

"There is no death here. This realm is where shadows go when they can no longer exist in the Real World. They can live comfortably with the other whims and flights of fantasy here. You are the Blue Thunder, a shadow of Tatewaki Kuno. However, you have also been declared a King – something that should please you. A Queen awaits you – the Red Queen. Declare your love for her and you will remain here a King forever immortal."

Kuno's eyes opened wide and he whispered: "A king? The Red King? All of this is a 'Dream of the Red King'?"

The cat laughed: "My, my, you did pay attention in 'Western Literature' literature, didn't you?"

"I'm dreaming?" Tatewaki asked.

"Yes and no," the cat answered. "This is a shadow realm and dreams can exist here indefinitely, but you are actually here – all that you are is here. All your emotions, your thoughts, your very sense of self. You can sleep in this realm – and dream. The others cannot; they are dreams."

"NO! I AM REAL!" Kuno screamed.

The cat gave him a direct look. "The shadow of the Blue Thunder was denied by Akane Tendo, Ranma of Nerima, Toshio Kuno, and many others. For a while, it was supported by Nabiki Tendo who did it for her own amusement. Then the shadow became too much of a nuisance for her and she denied it. Finally, Toshio Kuno became fed up and banished it. Unfortunately, while the Living usually cast many shadows, Tatewaki Kuno only cast one – the Blue Thunder. Tatewaki Kuno had nothing else to hold onto when the shadow was banished, so he followed it here. You've followed it here, your Majesty, and so here you are. And now the Blue Thunder is the Red King as well."

"If that is so, all I have to do is wake up!" Kuno shot back. He pinched his arm hard. "Not hard enough," he stated. He slammed his fist into his gut hard enough that he fell.

The panther chuckled. "Won't work your Majesty," it said. "You're not dreaming. Your state of consciousness has been permanently altered. No matter how hard you hurt you or someone else hurts you, that will not allow you to escape from here."

"Who are you?" Kuno demanded.

"You already know my name. The Waiter told you," the cat answered.

"He said you were called 'Oh no'. That's nonsense. If everyone is a shadow here, who are you a shadow of?" Kuno demanded again.

"You thought the Waiter was speaking English," the blue-black cat shot back. "What if he wasn't when he said my name?"

"Oh no?" Kuno puzzled. Then his face firmed. "No… not 'Oh no' …. You're Tofu Ono."

"Close, your Majesty, but no prize," the cat laughed.

Kuno struggled with it for a moment, and then remember something Kodachi had told him. "You're the younger brother."

"Actually, I'm one of the shadows of the youngest brother. There are four brothers now," the cat teased as it began to fade again. (2) "Or at least, I was. He generates a new shadow now."

"And he's going to marry Akane Tendo, isn't he?" Kuno asked angrily.

The cat laughed again. Now there was no teasing in its voice. Instead, there was joy as it said: "No, your Majesty. He has already married her; she has already married him. Soul-to-soul they are one now!" (3)

"NOOOO!" Kuno screamed. Again, it was amazing no one on the ground looked up. Kuno ran at the great transparent cat. The cat snapped back into focus sharply and swung a massive paw at Tatewaki. The paw connected solidly, but fortunately for Kuno, it had sheathed its claws. The blow knocked Kuno back toward the center of the roof.

The cat shook its great head with mock sorrow as Kuno struggled to lift his head and look at it. "At your peak, you were never a match for me," it said. "Or any of his other shadows. Certainly, you are no match for his new shadow now." The body faded away now, leaving only the head bobbing in mid-air.

"This is nonsense! What other shadows?" Kuno demanded as he tried to clear his head.

The cat's head suddenly split in half and two new shapes formed. Tatewaki mouth dropped open as he instantly recognized both pig-tailed shapes, both dress in identical red tunic shirts with black pants and a black martial arts belt.

"Shall we tell you…" the male said.

"The story of the…" the female said.

"Carpenter and…" the male said.

"The Walrus?" the female finished.

"NO! You're real too! You're not shadows!" Tatewaki screamed. "My father was lying! My uncle was lying! My sister is lying!"

"Ah, yes," the female answered.

"Everyone is lying," the male continued.

"To you," the female finished. Then they continued to alternate:

"Had it…"

"Ever occurred…"

"To you that…"

"There was a…"

"Much simpler…"

"Answer? That…"

"You were…"

"Lying to yourself?"

Kuno screamed, "NO!" as the two flowed together and then flowed apart. The male and female reformed again, but they had switched sides.

"Once we were shadows of Ranma of Nerima," they said together. "But our time has passed – as has yours. Now we are shadows of Ranma Ono who is the newest shadow of Ranma of Nerima."

Kuno seemed to gather his wits together as he said in a more controlled voice: "This is madness! You're both mad!"

The two pig-tailed people laughed and flowed together to form the head of the panther again. "And what did the cat say in the story? We are all mad here?"

"I'M NOT MAD!" Kuno screamed.

The head split again into the pig-tailed couple. "Oh yes," the male started.

"You are," the female said. Then they started whipsawing Tatewaki again with the male leading:

"Quite mad."

"You've lost touch…"

"With reality…"

"And have joined…"

"Us here."

"Welcome…"

"home."

Kuno charged at the two in his rage and despair. Once he closed in on them, they both shoved him in the chest, one arm each. The action threw him back toward the center of the roof again. He landed hard, knocking the breath out of his lungs. Tatewaki lay there for a few minutes, trying to compose himself. The shadows of Ranma of Nerima said nothing.

Occasionally, he heard sounds of his pursuers, still racing around the building. The yell "Off with his head" sounded every now and then. It was that yell that finally brought him around. There was no love in that voice – just anger. "That is not my Akane. This is not my world. I need to go home. There is a connection between my world and this one. There is a way to move between them. I have to find it." He sat up and looked at the twins. They looked exactly like Ranma Saotome and Ranko Tendo. "Help me get to Nerima," he asked them.

"Why should we do that?" they asked together.

"Because Ranma Saotome – Ranma of Nerima – always said he was an honorable man. Prove it," Kuno answered. "If you're his shadows, prove it or admit you're lying. Help me."

* * *

A/N: Footnotes:

(1) The song is "Caucus Race" from the movie "Alice in Wonderland". Music and Lyrics by Sammy Fain and Bob Hilliard. Copyright held by the Walt Disney Company.

(2) The Ono Brothers in birth order are now: Tofu, Ryoga (unofficially adopted), Mousse (officially adopted), and Ranma (officially adopted). Their birthdays were never assigned in the Manga or Anime, but they were assigned for this set of stories to aid the narration.

(3) Happened in "The Final Binding."

* * *

A/N: Next up - "The King of Hearts"


	8. The King Of Hearts

Chapter 8: The King of Hearts

A red ambulance pulled up in front of a non-descript house. Two men got out of the back of the car carrying a stretcher and ran to the door which opened as they approached. A young woman dressed in red appeared and said: "He's in here as promised." Then she ordered: "Put him on the stretcher and let's go!" The attendants did as they were told and she followed them out to the waiting vehicle. The two men placed the stretcher in the ambulance and secured it. The woman got in as well and they closed the doors.

Inside, Toshio Kuno watched Nari settle into a seat. "Any luck?" he asked.

"Some," she replied. "But it's too close to call. I don't know if he'll find his way back yet. It's been a very tough journey. His mind is a very tormented place."

"You did warn me," Kuno sighed.

She nodded and asked: "Are we all set in Nerima?"

He nodded in turn and said: "The Ono's were married today in a civil ceremony. It went pretty cleanly allowing for circumstances. The formal wedding is on schedule. Ranma and Akane are on the sidelines if we need them, but hopefully, they can stay out of the way – I'm holding them at arm's length."

"All right then," she said with some satisfaction. "We need to drive through the night as planned. The rest is up to your nephew. Let's hope for the best."

Kuno just nodded grimly.

* * *

On the roof of the restaurant, the Ranma twins shrugged and replied together: "You won't believe us anyway."

"If I make it back to Nerima, I'll have to believe you," Kuno pressed. "I don't know where I am. I can't make it without help. People around me always said Saotome helped others. Prove it. Show me he is an honorable man."

The male and female looked thoughtful for a few moments. Then they seemed to flow together again into a shapeless mass. The mass grew larger and then seemed to condense into a new shape. A taller version of Ranma now stood there, but his eyes were cat-eyes and there were sharp fangs in his mouth. The pig-tail was longer and there were two soft swells on his chest. He was also dress in royal robes decorated with hearts and wore a gold crown on his head.

"You are Ranma of Nerima," Kuno stated.

"His shadow, at least," Ranma corrected as he folded his arms across his chest. "I am also the King of Hearts here. I am Queen Akane's husband as Ranma of Nerima is Akane Tendo's husband."

"So you state," Kuno said coolly.

Ranma shrugged his shoulders. "The Truth is still the Truth, regardless of what you believe.

"Then let's put the Truth to the test. How do I get to Nerima? If you are an honorable man as others claim, please tell me," Kuno demanded quietly.

"The way will not be easy," Ranma warned. "You will have to confront the Truth – and yourself. You may want to stay here."

"I'm going to Nerima. Please help me," Kuno pressed again.

"In this world, you are the Red King as well as the Blue Thunder," Ranma started. "To leave this world behind, you must exercise the power of the Red King – the Blue Thunder cannot help you. You'll have to move fast to accomplish that." He turned and pointed into the field at one of the knights' horses. "Very fast."

"I don't understand," Tatewaki said.

Ranma pointed in one particular direction. "Get on that horse and ride south," he told Kuno. "The White Queen holds the key to the Gateway back to Nerima. But the White King and Queen will marry tomorrow. Once they leave on their honeymoon, the Gateway will close, never to re-open. You must ride through the night to find her before she marries." Kuno looked doubtful so Ranma said with a little more force: "You wanted my help. Either take it or leave it, but that's the only way back to Nerima for you."

Kuno made up his mind then. "Fine, I'll take it," he said. "But how do I get past the Caucus Race."

Ranma grinned, much like he would in the real world. "That's easy. Get ready."

Having said that, Ranma turned and jumped to the ground. Kuno heard a great cry come from everyone on the ground: "THE KING OF HEARTS!" The cry was followed by the sound of bodies colliding – lots of them colliding. Kuno crept to the edge and peered down. Ranma stood there with one hand held straight out. In front of that hand was a pile of people laying on the ground (and each other). At his side, he held Queen Akane off the ground, tight about the waist with his other arm. She was trying to look mad at him, but was failing miserably. Despite the fact that Kuno knew these were shadows in front of him, Tatewaki despaired at the sparkle in her eyes as she looked at her king.

"Caucus races may only be called by the King," Ranma intoned. "Who declared this Caucus Race?"

Everyone looked at each other. Queen Akane raised an eyebrow at her husband. "The Queen did!" someone shouted out.

"I did no such thing!" Queen Akane said from her husband's grasp. "I merely was trying to have the Red King beheaded for insisting I was his wife! That's treason!"

"No! I want him," one of the women in the pile-up called out.

"No, he's mine!" another said.

"Okay…" King Ranma drawled. "Doesn't he belong to the Red Queen?" Kuno was about to yell out a protest from the roof when Ranma's gaze flickered to him. The gaze said very plainly "SHUT UP!"

"The Red Queen said he was up for grabs!" one of the red men-at-arms called out from the pile.

"She wanted him to prove his love for her!" another man called out.

"Is she here?" King Ranma asked. Silence was his only answer as people began to shift apart. There was no sign of the Red Queen.

"Making someone prove they love you is the height of lunacy," Ranma said firmly. "It only proves that you don't love them. In fact, it proves that you don't know how to love at all. You should all know that." The silence now grew uncomfortable. So did Kuno's gut.

"He was still trying to claim me!" Akane burst out. "That's enough reason to kill him!"

"The Red King is never killed or captured. Those are the rules. You know that, Love," Ranma said gently as he set her down.

"But that's not fair!" she cried.

"No, it's not, but that's the way it is," he said. "Besides, just because he says it's true, doesn't make it so. His words have no meaning to you – you know that." Kuno's gut began twisting now. "He can't touch you – you are so far beyond him. Even if he wasn't, I would stop him. So ignore him."

Kuno was again going to protest, but, once more, Ranma's eyes flickered to him. This time, they grabbed all of Kuno's attention at held it tight. Those blue eyes blasted into Kuno and froze his mind. Kuno felt power shake his core – wild untamed power. He felt like he was caught in a hurricane with enough force to toss him into orbit. His soul was shivering badly at that glance. In desperation, Kuno ripped his gaze away and looked at Akane, but she was now looking at him too. Now, glowing brown eyes seared into him. Instead of a hurricane, he felt fire raging and burning him. There was massive anger there, but there was also more than the passion he adored. Kodachi's words came back to him about magic. He tried to deny them even now, but the Truth was literally staring him in the face – and these were just the shadows of Ranma and Akane! He felt hopelessly out classed. Then her eyes released him and he watched as she looked at her husband. Love rose in her eyes and, with it, a fierce possession. "Mine!" they screamed. Ranma continued to look at resolutely at Tatewaki. Kuno saw the love for Akane in Ranma's gaze, and the promise to protect her forever. The pig-tailed man's look challenged Kuno to deny what he saw. With a shudder, Kuno dropped his gaze.

Below a bell began to ring insistently. The White Duck – Mousse's shadow – walked around the corner of the building holding a ringing pocket watch. He called out: "Hear ye! Hear ye! It is now noon! The restaurant is now…" He paused as he took in the crowd before him and then whispered: "Oh crap."

"What's wrong…" the Chef started as she walked around the corner as well, but then noticed the crowd of fifty people there.

"Well, well," King Ranma started. "It looks like the restaurant is opened just in time for lunch. Everyone inside!"

"But this is too many…" the Chef tried to say, only to be cut off by the King.

"First rounds on me!" Ranma called out as he led Akane forward.

"Yea!" everyone called out as they piled in the door.

The Chef looked resigned at the chaos entering her restaurant. The King smirked as he and the Queen filed past and entered the door side-by-side. Once the crowd was inside, the Knave came out and took the Chef's arm. "C'mon. You're going to have a very successful opening. You'll recover eventually."

"Once more – completely over the top," she sighed as she let the Knave escort her inside.

* * *

Kuno climb down from the roof. All the playing card women and the men-at-arms were inside the restaurant. With a sigh, he started to walk slowly over to the knight's horse. His brain was trying to deny the bond between Ranma and Akane, but, for once, it wasn't working – his heart was telling him otherwise. Two sets of eyes had blasted the Truth into him. "No," he whispered to himself. "I don't understand. What did I do wrong? Why did she fall in love with him?" He looked up at the sky. "How did I not see this before?" He dropped his eyes and then saw something that startled him into stopping. On the ground, he saw he was still casting two shadows, but now, the left shadow was the darker one. "I'm changing," he thought to himself. "But into what or who?" After a few minutes, he continued on mechanically.

When he reached the horse, he stared at the animal for a minute. The horse looked back at him curiously. It had a red roan hide. With another sigh, he got on the horse and turned the animal to face south. He didn't even wonder at how he knew how to do this – he had never ridden before. With a cluck of his tongue and a press of his heels into the horse's side, he told the animal to start forward. The horse took two steps forward and then suddenly side-stepped. "What the hell?" Kuno thought. Before he could react further, the horse had taken another two steps and then side-stepped the other way. Kuno made the horse stop and he studied the animal from where he sat.

"You are wising up, my Love," the Red Queen said as she appeared from nowhere. She stood off to the left side of Kuno's path. "See? You don't want to leave. Stay with me and rule by my side forever."

"I am indeed 'wising up', Madam. I am leaving your world," Kuno answered her.

"You are mine, dear husband," she stated with a laugh. "Your own actions only prove this."

"My actions are just that," he denied. "Mine! Good day!" With that, he thumped the roan horse's sides with his heels and the horse took off.

"I'm gonna be sick," he thought to himself. The horse was taking two strides forward and then side-stepping once in either direction in a regular fashion over and over again. However, Kuno didn't dare stop now – there was a voice in his ears.

"This is my realm, Love. There is nowhere to run," the Red Queen whispered to him.

"No, it's not!" he yelled into the air. "There are other Kings and Queens here. The Queen of Hearts was not afraid of you. You fled from the King of Hearts. The White Queen is your enemy!"

"Not so, Beloved. She is only my opponent, not my enemy. I have great respect for her and her husband-to-be, and they do not fear me either," the Queen answered.

"But she can free me! The King of Hearts said so!" Kuno shouted.

The Red Queen audibly laughed now. "That's not what he said," she said.

Kuno searched his memory desperately. "He said the White Queen held the key to the Gateway!"

"And so she does. But she cannot set you free from me!" she laughed.

"Then I will!" Kuno grated.

The Red Queen was silent at that for a few moments while the horse continued its crazy run. Then she said harshly: "It's not that easy! You still haven't learned what you need to! Let me help!" Kuno paled at her tone. "You like pitting hoards against the unarmed innocent! Let's see how you like a dose of your own medicine! The King of Hearts has taken out the House of Cards and the Red Army!" A hunting horn sounded around Kuno. "Let's see how you do without his help against the White Army!"

Her voice sounded from all around Kuno: "The Red King seeks to stop the Wedding of the White King and Queen! Protect your King!"

There came a cry behind Kuno: "Victory or Death!" He turned in his saddle and saw fourteen men dressed in white armor bearing down on him. The armor and the men were identical in looks to the Red Army except for the color and the fact that they were all mounted except for the two rooks, who were in chariots. All of them had their weapons drawn.

"Ah crap!" Kuno thought. He looked ahead and saw the woods grow closer to him. He urged his horse faster.

A bishop drew next to Kuno. "You will not harm our King!" the bishop cried as he swung his crozier at Kuno's neck. The head of the weighted staff was sharpened like a blade.

Tatewaki ducked under the bishop's pole arm. "I don't want to harm him!" he shouted back.

"Liar!" the bishop shot back and swung again. Kuno's horse side stepped twice this time and seemed to pass through the bishop's horse, placing Kuno on the other side of the bishop and slightly behind. The bishop was off-balanced for a moment at the apparent disappearance, so Kuno leaned over and pushed the chessman off his horse while taking his weapon.

This caused a cry from the others: "How dare you attack a holy man!"

A rook pulled up in his chariot swinging a sword directly behind Kuno. Kuno's horse phased again, this time ending up behind and to the side of the chariot. Tatewaki threw the bishop's pole arm into the spokes of the near wheel. Instantly the wheel seized and the chariot spun then flipped, throwing the rook out and causing the horse to go down.

"You can't attack like that!" one of the knights complained. "You have to use your sword."

"I'm not playing! Leave me alone!" Kuno shouted. He ducked as his horse leaped a hedge, entering the forest proper. Immediately, he heard eight crashes behind him. Instinctively, Kuno knew that the pawns had crashed into trees, being unable to get out of the way. "That leaves two knights, a bishop, and the other rook," he thought.

The forest consisted of extremely large trees at odd distances and directions from each other. There was very little underbrush, but some of the tree branches were low enough that Kuno had to duck here and there. The forest floor was an uneven mixture of soil rock and tree roots. Amazingly enough, Kuno's horse had no problems navigating the terrain. The animal continued to run more or less forward using its crazy gait. Kuno glanced behind him and saw that the bishop and the two knights were still in pursuit. Off to the right, he saw the rook in his chariot racing along a dirt road through the forest. Kuno made a note of his direction and angled away from the road.

"Wait!" the rook screamed. "You can't do that! Come back and fight me!" he howled as he fell further and further back. Tatwaki said nothing in return, but continued to race ahead.

On and on, the four horses raced tirelessly, but the bishop was starting to fall behind now. Kuno noted that the holy man's horse was faster, but the bishop could not control his horse as well as Kuno and the two knights. Also, the bishop's staff was constantly getting caught in low branches, almost yanking the man out of his saddle several times. As the afternoon wore on, the lead horses pulled further and further ahead. Finally, Kuno and the knights squeezed through a very tight grove of trees, but the bishop misjudged the handling of his staff and was knocked off his horse, and out of the chase. "Two left," Kuno thought.

Darkness now began to fall, and the terrain became very rocky. A light mist was rising from the ground. As the rocks grew and formed ledges, Kuno soon found himself in a ravine that twisted and turned. The mist was becoming thicker, obscuring everything beyond fifteen meters. Just as the last light was fading, the ravine ended in a cliff wall, forcing Kuno to halt.

The two knights behind Kuno reined in their horses. "Surrender!" they called out in unison.

Kuno began to panic until he remembered something the King of Hearts had said. Instead, he turned his horse and answered quietly: "No, I will not surrender."

"But you must," one of knights said. "We have you checkmated!"

"I will not surrender," Kuno repeated. "It is impossible for two knights to force a checkmate if the king remains aware. I am aware, so I am not in checkmate."

"Then we will kill you," the other night said grimly.

"No, you will not," Kuno stated. He was growing calmer and calmer by the minute. "Neither king is ever captured or killed. That's the rule in Chess."

"But…" the first knight started.

Kuno cut him off. "I am the Red King." The mist seemed to vanish as Kuno said those words. Everything snapped into sharp focus. Kuno went on: "You cannot force checkmate without a bishop or a rook – or even a pawn. Move out of my way now." The second knight started to speak, but Kuno cut him off. "NOW!" he ordered.

The two knights pulled their horses to one side. "You're not supposed to be on a knight's horse," the first groused.

Kuno trotted his horse forward. "I'll return the horse to his owner after I talk to your king and queen," Kuno replied. "And I promise I will not hurt them or stop the wedding – all right?"

"I guess," the second answered."Since you're not allowed to place yourself in check, I guess it will be all right."

"It will," Kuno promised. With that, he rode passed them and back out into the evening.

* * *

Just before midnight, Kuno made it out of the forest. He felt some sort of barrier snap as he leaped over the surrounding hedges. Turning, he saw that the forest was gone. Instead he was surrounded by modern countryside under a starry sky. Off to his right, about a kilometer away, he saw a lit highway. Oddly enough, he saw no cars on the highway. He directed his horse toward it, hoping for some sort of guidance to where he was exactly. As he rode, he noted that there were no sounds except that of his horse.

Upon reaching the well lit road, Kuno was shocked to see that there was indeed traffic on the road – or rather, the shadows of traffic under the highway lights. He could see the two dimensional shadows of cars and trucks race over the flat surface of the road, but nothing that projected the shadows. "I really am in a shadow world," he thought. He urged his horse to follow the road south. As the animal passed under a highway street light, he saw that the horse's hide had changed to a pure black color. Other than that, it seemed real enough. "Definitely a spirit world," he noted to himself. As he passed a highway sign, he finally knew where he was. "I have no idea how I'm this far south, but if this world overlays mine, Ranma's shadow was right – I should be able to reach Nerima by sunrise. Then I have to figure out how to find the White Queen. One problem at a time…"

* * *

A/N: Next up - City of Mirrors


	9. City of Mirrors

Chapter 9: City of Mirrors

Tatewaki rode down the exit ramp of the highway into Nerima proper – or at least what sort of looked like Nerima. The streets were right, and the buildings were the right shape, but the buildings seemed to be made of some sort of fogged glass – no brick or mortar anywhere. Also, there were no cars, trucks, or people anywhere – just their shadows on the ground in the pre-dawn light. Most of the car and truck shadows appeared parked, but the rare people shadows were moving. He left the ramp and rode onto the main thoroughfare. "This is extremely weird," he thought. "Even with the shadows, it feels like the Ward is completely empty. No, not empty – it's blank. There should be New Year's Day declarations up, and there's nothing. There are no signs in the store windows either. There are no sounds anywhere. Even in winter, there would be birds around. For that matter, there's no trash, no old snow piles; there's nothing."

He walked the horse over to a store window (he had long gotten use to the horse's sidestepping) and slipped off its back. He cupped his hands around his eyes and tried to peer inside the store. All he saw was blackness – there was no light from inside. He tested the door of glass only to find that it was locked. Confused, he backed up and stared at the hazy glass window again. It was then that he saw it; if he looked deeply into the glass, he could see a reflection. But the reflection didn't contain the glass buildings on the other side of the street. Instead, he saw real buildings made of steel, wood, and stone, all with the expected New Year's decorations. He also saw the reflections of clear windows holding merchandise. And he could see the occasional cars and people moving in the early hours of New Year's morning. Kuno turned around to look at the street he walked, but saw none of that – just the bare street with its glass buildings. He turned back to the reflection and pressed experimentally on the window, but it would not give. "I'm still caught on the other side of the Looking Glass," he murmured.

"Yes, you are," a voice rasped. Kuno spun and looked down the street a little ways to see a large figure wrapped in a rough hooded brown robe. Nothing could be seen of its face except two large glowing yellow eyes under the hood. The shape stood in the middle of an intersection.

"Who are you?" Kuno asked walking toward it.

"I have many names, little creature," it answered in the same rasping voice. "And many shadows."

"Are you the White Queen?" Kuno asked.

"No, but I gave one of my shadows to the Red Queen," the shape replied.

"Why?" Kuno pressed.

"So she could set up Wonderland for me. That was the price I paid to draw you here," the cloaked figure said. Then it shrugged: "I haven't been Suzume for over two hundred years anyway."

"You had Wonderland set up?" Tatewaki pressed.

"Yes," the rasping voice answered. "The Red Queen set it up for me and then invited the other shadows to come and play. So they did."

"So why bring me here?" he asked.

"Because you drew my blood unprovoked, mortal – no one is allowed to do that," the figure said harshly. "Such an insult deserves Vengeance, and I cannot heal the wound until I collect Vengeance." The speaker paused for a moment and the yellow eyes glared balefully at Kuno, sending a shiver down his back. The cloaked figure continued: "Since you drew blood, you now owed me a blood debt, giving me power over you. So, I bound your shadow, the Blue Thunder, to Suzume and sold both of them to the Red Queen. She brought the shadows to Wonderland."

"And the rest of me followed, like Ranma said," Kuno finished.

"Yes," it answered.

"When did I strike you?" Kuno asked.

The eyes glared at Kuno again, this time heavy with contempt. "Of course you don't remember," the figure rasped. "You never did pay attention to the little people. You thought I was just a servant for you to order around. You struck me on Wednesday, December 18, 2002, right after I told you your request was impossible, never mind inhumane. You were captured by the local police as you were trashing my shop," the robed figure replied.

Kuno thought for a moment and looked sharply at the shape. "You're the witch who refused to give me the love potion," he said.

"I'm not a witch, haughty fool. I'm much older than that, and much more powerful. And there is no such thing as a love potion," the figure said.

"But there are many tales of them…" Kuno said carefully.

"Most so-called love potions are nothing of the sort," the voice laughed harshly. "Usually, they are harmless aphrodisiacs. If the potion maker has some talent, the potion may raise awareness or confidence levels, but they will not create love between two people – they only allow existing attractions to be noticed more." The tone of the voice dropped very low as it added: "A dark practitioner may create a potion which causes delusions, so that one person – either the user or the target – thinks they are with someone else. An even darker creator will have the potion basically kill the intended target, leaving only an empty robotic shell for the user to possess. Sooner or later, the results come home to the user – always. The end result is suicide, murder, both, or even the shattering of a soul, especially after the user realizes he/she has killed the one they love. Then the dark practitioner collects the user's damned soul." The speaker's tone made Kuno shuddered.

The cloaked figured laughed then. "Consider yourself lucky boy! How do you like your new home?" it asked.

"I want to go back to my world," Kuno answered.

"And what makes you think that's possible?" it laughed again.

"Because the shadow of Ranma of Nerima said it was," he replied.

"And since when do you believe Ranma?" it snorted in contempt.

"I don't, but others do. I challenged him to tell me the truth based on that, and I believe he did. So, I believe *in* Ranma if nothing else," Kuno shot back.

The shape was still for a moment and then said: "The Blue Thunder is mine – bound by blood. I've sold him to the Red Queen and he is never to leave here. You declared to the two knights that you were the Red King. Only the Red King may confront the White Queen and only she may open the Gateway. A warrior blocks the way. The Red King must defeat the warrior to stand before the Queen." With that, the shape vanished.

"What?" Kuno yelled. "Who is the warrior?! And how do I find the White Queen?"

A whisper reached his ears, "Test each direction on the intersection." Then it was gone.

Kuno sighed and turned around to get his horse, only to find it missing. "Great," he moaned. "I'm on foot."

He looked at the street signs and got his bearings. Then he started to walk north out of the intersection, but nothing happened. "O.K. what am I looking for?" he asked himself. He returned to the center and tried east. As soon as he started to leave, he heard his own voice ask from nowhere:

 _"Who are you fair maiden?"_

There was a respectful disembodied reply: _"I am Akane Tendo, elder student._ "

Kuno stopped. "Akane Tendo?" he questioned out loud. He looked around but found nothing. A perplexed look crossed his face. Carefully, he backed up to the center and started east again.

Once more he heard _"Who are you fair maiden?"_ followed by _"I am Akane Tendo, elder student._ "

"That was the first words I spoke to Akane," he thought. "And the first words she said to me."

He walked to the next intersection and then walked straight through. He heard his voice say: _"You are to join me at the Ice Cream Shoppe after school for a treat, beautiful one."_

She answered: _"Sorry, I have homework to do. Goodbye."_

Kuno stopped again, remembering Akane's annoyed look at that particular conversation. "I attempted to command her, and she rejected me," he thought. "That's when I realized that I must win her favor." He attempted to walk through the next intersection, but stopped when he heard nothing. "Must be a turn." He turned north and heard:

 _"She's absolutely marvelous, Uncle. Obviously, I must court her."_

Then Kuno heard his uncle speak: _"Hold on lad! She's already rebuffed you. If she's anything like her mother, you need to back off and proceed more slowly. This may not be a match. You have to feel her out. And you're both very young – take it easy."_

He walked through the next intersection and heard his own voice say:

 _"If her mother was your subject, then she is mine!"_

 _An angry voice answered: "Moron! I was her mother's agent! I worked for Kimiko Tendo, may her soul rest in peace, not the other way around!" (1)_

Tatewaki stopped again at hearing his uncle's words once more. He stared at the street for a minute and then continued on. As he walked, his eyes sought out his shadow – or rather shadows. He was still casting two shadows, but the right shadow looked almost normal now. The left shadow was very faded though. He stopped and stared at it. "Something's not right," he thought. He raised an arm, and both shadows followed his motion. There was still something odd (besides the fact he was casting two shadows). He stared longer at the left shadow. Then he saw it – the left shadow was clenching and unclenching its fist, but Kuno wasn't moving. The shadow was also trembling. "Now what?" Kuno thought exasperatedly. "What's this suppose to mean?" No one answered him.

Eventually, he resumed his journey through the empty streets. Through the next few intersections, he heard his argument with his uncle continue until his uncle said the final words:

 _"The Tendos are people of action! They will never be happy with the boardrooms of Tokyo!"_

 _"Then she'll see me as a man of action!_ " Kuno's voice snapped back.

Kuno stopped again. "That's when I started wearing my Kendo outfit to school," he remembered. "But she made a point of avoiding me after that first conversation. If I said 'Hello', she would say 'Hello' back and speed away." At the next intersection he heard his voice say:

 _"I need you to order your little sister to go on a date with me."_

Nabiki Tendo answered: _"Kuno baby, if you like my little sister, try being her friend first. She's easy to get along with if you don't piss her off. If you have, all you have to do is apologize. She forgives fast enough – if she didn't, I'd be dead by now."_

Kuno winced as he walked through the next intersection and heard:

 _"I apologize to no one. Just order her to go with me."_

Nabiki responded scornfully: _"You really are an idiot. And no one orders Akane to do anything – unless they like seeing the inside of a hospital."_

"And I've seen plenty of hospitals," Tatewaki sighed while walking on.

Meanwhile, Nerima started to wake up around him – at least in reflections and shadows. His version of Nerima remained empty and barren – except for the shadows of cars driving under his feet as he walked. He could also see people's reflections in the store windows as they walked to temple to celebrate the New Year. Their shadows on the sidewalks kept pace with their reflections. Normally, he would have ignored the people around him, but now he saw most of them walked in family units or with friends. However, Kuno walked alone in an empty city of his own reality, and, for the first time, found that his own company wasn't good enough.

At the next few intersections, he heard his own abortive attempts to talk to Akane. He remembered that she would pause for a few moments as if waiting for something, but then, once he informed her that they should date, she would move on without a word. This sequence continued for several blocks and ended when he heard Akane say sharply: _"Elder student Kuno, I belong to myself and no one else. Do not talk to me again until you realize that and learn to apologize like my sister said."_

Tatewaki's eyes widen and he stopped cold. "Nabiki did speak to her. I had an opening and never took it. Why didn't I realize that at the time? Instead I just walked away angry at her impertinence!" He groaned and sighed. "I *am* a complete idiot." He stood there for a few minutes and then thought: "But why was she being so difficult? I just wanted to take care of her. Why couldn't she see that? I would have made her happy."

Something made Kuno look at the store front reflections. To his shock, he saw Ranma and Akane running in his direction. Both of them were wearing their running clothes and maintaining a strong pace, despite having to dodge the occasional foot traffic. Their breath steamed in the air, although it wasn't cold where Kuno stood – there really wasn't any feeling of temperature around him. The couple waved to passersby and seemed to be laughing about something, but Kuno couldn't hear anything from the reflections. Occasionally, they would bump shoulders and their faces would take on mocking expressions, but the expressions always dissolved into laughter. Kuno rotated to watch the reflections pass him and they continued to run down the street, their discorporate sidewalk shadows matching their window reflections. He sighed again as he realized their happiness was a counterpoint to his misery.

Kuno looked down and started in surprise. The left shadow was definitely moving now. It seemed to be looking in Akane's and Ranma's direction and shaking a fist at them. It also seemed to be soundlessly shouting at them. As he watched, it started to throw a full-blown tantrum. The shadow obviously wanted to chase after the couple, but it seemed glued to Tatewaki's feet – as it should have been. The right shadow matched Kuno's posture, but even there, Kuno thought he saw something additional. "It's annoyed at the left shadow," Kuno thought. "Both shadows are acting separate from me!"

As Akane's and Ranma's reflections ran further down the street, Kuno turned back to the nearest window and was startled again. He was not reflected there – he hadn't been reflected in any window since he came to this city. "They're real, and I'm not," he thought. He seemed to shake himself then. "I have to find the White Queen."

He tried to walk forward, but couldn't – the left shadow was still yelling after the couple. Kuno couldn't lift his feet to walk the other way. He could only pivot in place. "Oh, come on!" he yelled with exasperation. The left shadow continued in its tantrum. Kuno looked at the right shadow and said: "Can you do anything here?"

The right shadow shrugged its shoulders. Then it socked the left shadow in the jaw. Kuno winced as he felt pain flare from his own jaw and nearly fell. "That hurt, you know," he told the right shadow, but it only shrugged again.

Meanwhile, the left shadow had stopped its tantrum and seemed to be glaring at Kuno. "Are you done, now?" he demanded. "There's nothing you can do about it, so get over it! I want to go home!" The shadow continued to glare at Kuno for a few more moments and then softened its stance until it matched Kuno's shape. It also seemed to fade a little more, while the right shadow became a little darker. Experimentally, Kuno lifted a foot and was relieved that he could walk again. He strode purposefully through the next intersection, but stumbled as he heard:

 _"I need you to attack Akane Tendo tomorrow, so I can rescue her. There's five thousand yen in it for each of you."_

 _"All right, Kuno, we're in."_

"Oh gods," he moaned. "What an utter disaster that was." His original plan had been to gallantly show his worth, but he remembered that Akane had cut through the five boys in less than fifteen seconds. "I never even had a chance to react – and I had to give them the money or they threatened to tell my uncle."

At the next intersection he heard himself say:

 _"If you wish to take Akane out…DEFEAT HER! I will permit no other terms."_

"Damn it," Kuno muttered. "That worked as well as the first attempt. She beat all of us, day after day. At first I went easy on her, but eventually I went all out, and I couldn't beat her."

Kuno walked through the next intersection:

 _"What the hell are you doing?!" Akane screamed._

 _"Give in to me Akane!" one boy demanded._

 _"No, date me Akane!" another pled._

 _"But I love you Akane!" yet another proclaimed._

Tatewaki paled at the memory, but he also remembered the Card women on the train. "No! It's not the same!" he shouted out loud. "I have to get back!" He broke into a run. At the next intersection he heard:

 _"Get away from me! Are you all insane? Wasn't yesterday enough?"_

 _"Go out with me Akane!" they pled._

At the following junction, Kuno had to turn left and cross over a canal bridge. When he had the right direction, the air around him cried out which made him start to run again:

 _"Leave me alone!"_

 _"Date me, Akane!"_

The next crossing sounded:

 _"Why won't they stop?!"_

There was no reply.

"No!" Kuno shouted. He was starting to hear the anger, fear, and frustration in her voice – something he never noticed before. He ran faster.

At the next intersection: _"You're all crazy!"_

"Why won't you give in to me, beloved?" Kuno pleaded as he ran. Akane's anger and fear grew with every corner he passed. He could feel it in the air:

 _"I'll never date any of you!"_

Next corner:

 _"Shove off!"_

And the next:

 _"You are insane!"_

Kuno ran faster still, but the yells continued at each intersection:

 _"I hate boys!"_

…

 _"GO AWAY!"_

…

 _"I hate boys!"_

…

 _"Hate boys, hate boys, hate boys…"_

…

He was trying to out-race her anger, but it was waiting for him at every crossing.

 _"GO AWAY!"_

…

 _"I hate you all!"_

…

Then he passed an intersection and heard a different voice. Akane's friend Sayuri called out:

 _"Akane! Tatewaki Kuno is behind this!"_

"No!" Kuno shouted out loud. "I'm sorry! Don't say it!" He ran faster and faster toward the next corner. "Please don't say it!" he pleaded.

 _"I HATE KUNO ESPECIALLY!"_ Akane cried in anger and despair.

"NO!" Kuno cried out. "NOOOO!" He stopped just beyond the intersection and looked wildly around. "NOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed again. He stared at the ground and saw his left shadow fade further and further. The right shadow was holding its head in horror. Kuno mimicked it and screamed once more before falling to his knees. He felt a tearing within himself and yelled "NOOOOOO!" one final time. With that, he collapsed face-first onto the ground.

* * *

A/N: Footnotes:

(1) We learned of Kimiko Tendo's and Toshio Kuno's business dealings in "The Destruction of Ranma Saotome – Ignition", Chapter 11

* * *

A/N: The final chapter is next - "Endgame"


	10. Endgame

Chapter 10: Endgame

"Get up, little man."

Kuno heard the voice as if from a great distance.

"I said 'get up'," the voice insisted. Something nudged Kuno hard in the side.

"How dare you ignore me!" the voice said.

Kuno felt a hard kick in his side that knocked the air out of his lungs and rolled him onto his back. A hand grabbed the front of his clothes and hauled him half-upright. "Do what I tell you or I'll beat you again!" the voice proclaimed haughtily.

Kuno opened his eyes and saw a vague face swim before him. It opened its mouth and started to speak: "I said…"

***BAM***

Kuno's fist slammed upward into the chin of the face. The impact knocked the face away and Kuno felt himself falling toward the ground. He rolled onto his side and managed to absorb most of the fall cleanly. He lifted his head and looked at his attacker. Sprawled a few meters from him but sitting upright, was a man dressed in a blue gi. The face was very familiar – Kuno saw it every time he looked in a mirror.

"That hurt you know!" the man in the blue gi snapped at Kuno.

"Who are you?" Kuno, the Red King, asked as he slowly pushed himself into a sitting position.

"I am the Blue Thunder," the other Kuno said haughtily while standing up again. "Now get up. You must get the key from the White Queen, so I can go home. Then I will kill Saotome and marry Akane Tendo."

An annoyed look crossed the Red King face as he climbed to his feet. He didn't like being addressed so insolently. He studied the fool dressed in blue for a moment. Then he replied disdainfully: "The only Saotome is Nodoka Saotome. Will you kill an innocent woman?"

"It is Ranma Saotome I must kill. You are obviously a fool," the Blue Thunder said with equal disdain.

"Hmph! And yet I'm wiser then you!" the Red King shot back. He thought of something to try and inflame his double. "There is no Ranma Saotome. There is only Ranma Tendo!" The Red King stopped suddenly as soon as he said the name – he had meant to say Ranma Ono, but a memory of something Kodachi had said made him switch the name. The rightness of the name stunned him.

"Who?" the Blue Thunder demanded.

"Ranma Tendo. Ranma of Nerima's next name," the Red King answered. He shook his head bemused for a moment. "I've always thought of her as Akane Tendo," he whispered to himself. "Even in my dreams, she was always Akane Tendo – never Akane Kuno."

"What are you babbling about?!" the Blue Thunder demanded again.

"I've just realized Akane Tendo is beyond me. She always has been," the Red King answered.

"Of course she's beyond you, fool," the Blue Thunder shouted. "She belongs to me!"

The Red King looked down at his clothes. "She belongs to herself, idiot, and maybe her husband," he said as he brushed dust from his red robes. His dyed street clothes were gone. A steel sword was belted to his side. There was a simple crown on his head. Most important of all, there was only one shadow on the ground. He began to circle the blue idiot.

"I will be her husband, fool!" the Blue Thunder shouted while turning to face the Red King.

"No, you will not," the Red King answered coolly feeling stronger with every passing moment – and he was beginning to catch on. "She will never be anyone but Akane Tendo. She will always keep her last name. She will never consent to adopt the Kuno name. Even Ranma of Nerima will bow to her and take her name – he has no real last name anyway. He was made for her."

"SHE'S MINE!" the man in blue bellowed.

"Really? She's a real person – two dimensional shadows are not her type," the Red King said snidely.

"HOW DARE YOU!" the Blue Thunder screamed. "Who do you think you are? You are nothing without me!"

"Actually, I was a lot before you. I was a good student. I was an excellent athlete. I was fairly popular with the ladies. I even tried to be a good brother. That all went out the window when you came along," the Red King replied sharply.

"I am everything you wanted to be!" the Blue Thunder snapped as he started his own circling. "You wanted the world at your feet. You wanted to be the lord of all you surveyed. You wanted to dictate order to the world. You wanted to be the ultimate hero. And, through me, you were – or you could have been! But you were too weak to take what should have been yours. Others outmaneuvered you! You failed! Now I have broken free of your weakness. I will take everything that should be mine."

"But there's nothing that should be yours – you don't really exists. You're just my reflection – my shadow," the Red King answered. "You are just a dream of the Red King – one of many that I had."

"I am greater than you'll ever be!" the Blue Thunder screamed again.

"You really are pathetic," the Red King answered with contempt. "No wonder Akane never loved you – she knew you were insane and incapable of love. If you really cared about her as you claim, you would see that she loves Ranma."

"I will kill Ranma and take her," his opponent yelled while starting to foam at the mouth.

A new voice cut in: "Kill Ranma? Gods have tried and failed. You have no chance." A sharp-eyed young woman appeared to the side of the two Kunos, standing on the sidewalk. The woman had short brown hair and wore a lavender bridesmaid's dress.

Both men stopped their circling. The Red King looked at the young woman. "You are the shadow of Nabiki Tendo," he stated.

"Full points, Kuno-Baby," the Bridesmaid laughed. She looked at the Blue Thunder. "Once I liked you – I had a crush on you. But you were so full of yourself, you never noticed. Toward the end of our freshman year I got bored and my interest drained away. Then you fell for my sister and I pitied you, but I'm done with that too. You got what you deserved – you're banished here and that's the end. Your time has passed."

"NO!" the Blue Thunder shouted. "If he can leave," he pointed at the Red King. "Then I can leave in his place."

"And go where?" another voice cut in. All three turned to see a girl in a simple blue dress with a brown gardening apron and a straw hat. She was standing on the sidewalk opposite the Bridesmaid. It took no imagination to see she was a younger version of Kodachi. She carried a basket in her hands full of red and white roses. "You've been banished from the World, just like I was. This is your home now. Tatewaki Kuno's new shadow is the Red King – he proclaimed it himself."

"Then I'll kill him and take his place!" the Blue Thunder cried. He rushed at the Red King, bokken held high.

The Red King drew his sword and plotted how to disarm the madman pitting wood against steel. To the King's surprise, wood met steel and held fast. The Blue Thunder struck again and the King had to parry once more.

"It's not a game, Kuno-Baby," the Bridesmaid called out. "If you don't defeat the Blue Thunder, you can't go home – ever."

"So be it," the King said and counter-attacked. The Blue Thunder parried and struck again. The two fighters surged back-and-forth through the empty street exchanging blows over and over again.

"Fool!" the man in blue exclaimed. "You are no match for me! I am the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"

"And you are done!" the King shot back. "High School is over! You graduated and you've yet to complete a single college course! You don't participate in athletics anymore! Now you've joined the shadows of the past!"

"I am the Captain of the Kendo Club!" the Blue Thunder yelled.

"Again, in the past! You *were* the captain! Now a Hideaki Yamashita – a high school senior – holds that position! Your time is done!" the Red King shot back as he attacked again.

"NO!" the Blue Thunder screamed. He countered the Red King and then struck the King in the mouth with the hilt of the bokken. The King fell with the blow and lost his sword. The Blue Thunder raised the bokken over his head. The bokken crackled with ki-energy as its wielder started to deliver a lethal blow. However, the Blue Thunder stopped himself and instead yelled: "Surrender now!" The King looked up, surprised by the respite. Again, the Blue Thunder raised back his sword, but did not swing. "Surrender now!" the man in blue demanded.

Understanding began to dawn in the Red King's eyes. "No," he said quietly. He stood up unarmed and faced the Blue Thunder. "I will not surrender."

The Blue Thunder started to attack again, but paused mid-swing. "You have no weapon! You must surrender!"

"NO!" the man in red answered violently. The Blue Thunder stepped back in surprise. The Red King continued in a calm voice: "It's still my move. You got in the last attack. You cannot attack until my turn is over. I am the Red King – I have many weapons, and you are only one of my many dreams."

"That is nonsense! You are defenseless!" the Blue Thunder screamed.

"No, I'm not," the King said calmly.

The Blue Thunder ran at the King with madness in his eyes. "DIE!" he screamed.

Suddenly, someone reached from behind the Blue Thunder and grabbed the bokken, nearly yanking the Blue Thunder off of his feet. A voice came from behind the Blue Thunder firmly saying: "The Red King is neither killed nor captured – that is one of the Rules." A kick was delivered to the Blue Thunder's backside that launched him over the Red King's head. Everyone turned to look at the new voice. A young high school freshman dressed in a Furinkan High School uniform now stood where the Blue Thunder had been. He was now holding the Blue Thunder's bokken. His young face was very familiar to everyone there – especially his two older versions.

"One of the things I use to be good at was Chess," the young man started conversationally. "It's a very old game – the Game of Kings it was once called. The game can be ended in one of three ways: the king resigns, a draw, or the ever sought after Checkmate. The king was never captured or killed in the game. The reason for this was very simple. The nobles who played the game were subject to the real King, who was said to rule by divine right. The King never wanted to encourage any sort thinking that he was vulnerable, not even in a game. So, any noble who may the mistake of touching the opposing king piece lost the game automatically. And anyone who touched the King's king, lost their head – for real. You had to be especially careful when playing against your liege. The reasons for the rule have been lost through the ages, but a rule is still a rule."

"I haven't seen you in a while," the Rose Gardener said. The young man bowed to her.

The Red King saw the younger version of himself smiling at him. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" the freshman asked.

"I know you…" the Red King started. "But I haven't thought of you in years…"

He was cut off by the Blue Thunder yelling from where he lay: "How dare you! Who are you?"

"I am the Shooting Star of Furinkan High School. I defeated all of the upperclassmen in my Kendo Class to become the Captain early in my freshman year," the young man answered.

"I superseded you!" the Blue Thunder yelled. "I am your better!"

The Shooting Star nodded while saying: "Yes, you are stronger and faster. But somewhere along the way, you became an idiot and forgot how to think. You forgot about true strategy, which is how I beat those older than myself." He picked up the Red King's sword and nodded to the Red King. "Your Majesty," he said as he tried to hand the sword back.

"Keep it," the Red King said. "It won't help me here." With a nod, the Shooting Star made the sword vanish. The King faced the Blue Thunder. "I forgot all about the Shooting Star. I created him in middle school." The King began to circle the Blue Thunder again.

"So, what?!" the Blue Thunder sneered. "He's a has-been."

"Doesn't look like it to me. He looks like he has his whole future in front of him," the King replied. The Shooting Star chuckled. "Do you remember why I called myself the Shooting Star?" the King asked.

"Yes, moron," the Blue Thunder answered. "Because of the damage I could inflict."

"You don't remember at all. It was because I wanted to shine brighter than everyone else – and one more reason. Do you remember?" the King asked again. The Blue Thunder only glared at him, so the King answered: "Because I also loved basketball. I was good at it, but not great at it, even though I wanted to be. I was great at Kendo though. That's where everyone paid attention to me. But I still loved basketball so I took a name with a double meaning – just a little joke with myself. But you don't know how to joke, do you?" The Blue Thunder snarled, but did not charge.

"You've forgotten how to joke, to laugh, to love," the King said. "But that's not all you've forgotten – you forgotten your past. You don't remember him…" The King pointed at the Shooting Star. "You don't remember her…" he said as he pointed at the Rose Gardener. "You don't remember her…" he added while pointing at the Bridesmaid. "And you don't remember Tatewaki Kuno." The Blue Thunder rotated to track him. "You don't remember your past at all – you've completely lost touch with who you use to be," the Red King finished.

"The past is useless," the Blue Thunder screamed.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," the Red King said. "Because you are the past – you're a mad memory."

"You'll not get away that easily - Time is very fluid here!" the Blue Thunder yelled.

"Yes, yes it is," the Red King said. "But we never agreed to a time limit on our moves. It's still my move. You'll have to stay here until I make my next move against you." The Blue Thunder tried to move toward the Red King and found that he could not. "Meanwhile, I have an appointment to keep – if I can ever find out where it is," the Red King added as he glanced sideways at the Shooting Star.

"Oh dear, is the great Tatewaki Kuno ready to accept help?" the Shooting Star laughed. The Red King grinned at him. The Shooting Star turned to the Gardener and asked: "Sister, if you would please release the Rose Garden?"

"Yes, Brother Dearest," she answered.

The young woman tossed her basket of red and white roses at the Blue Thunder as he tried to move toward the Red King again. As soon as they struck him, the flowers became growing leaves, thorn covered branches, and more roses. The growth enveloped the Blue Thunder.

"No! I am invincible!" the engulfed man shouted as the roses covered his face. "NO! No…" The rest of his words were lost in the foliage.

* * *

"Thank you," the Red King said to his sister and his younger self.

"You're welcome, but I did have some selfish motives. Had the Blue Thunder returned to Nerima, I would have been forgotten and faded away," the Shooting Star replied.

"Very well," the King answered. "I will remember you." The other man nodded. Meanwhile the roses continued to grow and fan out from where they had swallowed the Blue Thunder. "Is that necessary?" the Red King asked as the roses spanned the street and began to climb the buildings on either side of the street."

"Only if you want to go home," the Gardener answered.

"How will this help?" the King asked.

"You'll see," the Bridesmaid answered. She paused with a smirking smile and then said: "You out-ran the story and came to an empty city. Everyone else is about to catch up. So is the reality you need to go back to…" The roses proceeded to completely cover the nearby buildings.

"The wedding between the White King and the White Queen," he said thoughtfully. "Which is probably the wedding between the Tendo and Ono families shadowed here. I thought it involved Ranma Ono and Akane Tendo, but that's not true – they are already married."

"In a spiritual sense, yes," the Rose Gardener agreed. "They will have a civil ceremony is a year or so, but the die is cast and cannot be broken."

"But, the White Queen and White King are also already married," the Bridesmaid cut in. "They are having two ceremonies – a private ceremony was held yesterday. The public ceremony is today."

"The double ceremony," the Red King murmured. "Which means the shadow of Kasumi Tendo – or rather the White Queen – holds the key to go home."

"Actually, you hold the key," the Shooting Star informed him. "You must choose to go home – or to stay here with us." The roses continued to cover all the structures in sight, but left the streets clear for the most part.

"I am not just a shadow," the Red King countered. "I am not able to bear this madness…" His voice trailed off. After a moment, he turned to look at the ball of roses that held the Blue Thunder and realization dawned on his face as words and thoughts came back to him:

 _"If you want to end up in the insane asylum trying to unravel Akane Tendo's protections, that's your business!" his sister said again._

 _"You are just a lunatic!" the queen shouted._

 _"Maybe I should kill him, Your Majesty. His insanity might be catching…" the executioner suggested._

 _"You seem to fit right in," Mary Ann had commented._

 _Tatewaki's earlier thought returned: "I'm starting to understand how these people think and how events flow."_

 _"You don't know how to love anyone but yourself," Ono had told him._

 _Once more, his own voice sounded in his head: "This is madness!"_

 _Whip-sawing voices answered it: "Quite mad…You've lost touch…With reality…And have joined…Us here. Welcome… home."_

 _Finally, Akane's voice yelled angrily: "You're all crazy!"_

The Red King dropped his head for a few minutes as everything sank in. Tatewaki Kuno really was crazy. He was just as ill as someone with the measles. Now this place had split Tatewaki Kuno into three personas – The Shooting Star, the Blue Thunder, and the Red King. The Shooting Star's time was done, and the Blue Thunder was insane. But the Red King belonged to Wonderland – he himself was part of the normal madness. How could he get Tatewaki home again? And how could Tatewaki Kuno be made whole and sane again?

After an endless time, he lifted his head. The shadows of Nabiki and Kodachi looked at him keenly. The Shooting Star said nothing but waited patiently. The Red King brought his hand up to cover his eyes and sighed. "The Red King must give way to Tatewaki," he mumbled.

Nabiki's shadow smirked at him. "Say the magic words, Kuno-Baby. Oh, and get ready to run."

The Red King took a deep breath. He looked at the Shooting Star who nodded encouragingly. Then the Red King once more became Tatewaki Kuno by shouting: "I RESIGN!" The sole shadow on the ground vanished and Tatewaki's normal clothes returned.

The rose-covered surroundings exploded as a dozen people burst out of the foliage screaming: "WE'RE LATE!" Mousse's shadow, the White Duck, was in the lead. He was followed closely by the shadow of Tofu Ono, dressed in white royal robes. The doctor's shadow also had a blindfold across his eyes, but he could run quite well. The King of Hearts ran beside him providing what little assistance the White King needed. The two Kings were accompanied by the Duchess, the Jack of Hearts, Mary Ann, and some of the White King's men-at-arms. The Bridesmaid gave a little twirl and became the Queen of Diamonds. She immediately joined the race without a word. The Rose Gardener became the Queen of Clubs, but she stayed with the Shooting Star, who now became the Ace of Clubs.

"They're on the way to the wedding," the Ace told Tatewaki. "We were not invited for obvious reasons. You still need to get to the White Queen." Kuno nodded, waved to the two remaining shadows, and ran after the fleeing crowd.

A muffled voice behind him screamed: "LET ME OUT! HE MADE HIS MOVE! LET ME OUT I SAY!"

As Kuno ran, a wind rose from behind him, pushing him along. He also noticed that it was blowing the roses and leaves off of the shadow buildings of Nerima, but instead of revealing mirror-covered buildings, the buildings looked like they were taken from nineteenth century England. "I'm back in Wonderland," he thought. "Time to go home…"

* * *

He joined the running party with barely any notice from his fellow sprinters. A few of the men-of-arms briefly made note of him, but dismissed him as not a threat. The King of Hearts gave him a small smirk, but said nothing. Once, when he stumbled, the Queen of Diamonds steadied him and pushed him onwards, but likewise said nothing.

They raced through medieval Nerima – a Nerima that never existed – until they came to a large temple. In front of it was the Red Queen – or someone very much like her. Kuno recognized the woman he had struck and felt immediately ashamed at having raised a fist against her. Standing next to her, was a man dressed in royal robes wearing Toshio Kuno's face. The robes where decorated in poker card spades. Tatewaki slowed at seeing the two of them.

"There's no time for that," his uncle's shadow snapped at him. The King of Spades grabbed his arm roughly. "If you want to go home, come with me now."

The Red Queen grabbed Tatewaki's other free arm. "You're cutting this close." Up ahead, the White King and the King of Hearts had paused by a closed door leading into the temple and were looking back at the trio.

The door behind the two kings opened and the Queen of Hearts emerged. "There you are! It's about time!"

"One slight detour," the blindfolded White King answered her. He 'looked' at Tatewaki. "This is it," he called out. "Time to choose." But Tatewaki had already made his choice and let the King of Spades and the Red Queen pull him along in the wake of the Queen of Hearts and the White King. The Queen of Diamonds was right behind him, and the King of Hearts brought up the rear. The other members of the White King's entourage entered the temple through another door.

The three kings and three queens led Tatewaki through a maze of passages in the temple until they came to a solid looking door. The White King knocked on the door. "Love!" he called out. "It's me!"

A voice chimed back through the closed door: "You're not suppose to see me before the wedding!" It sounded a lot like Kasumi Tendo's.

The White King grinned. "All taken care of, Love."

"Did they find him?" she called out.

"Yes! And I think he's in a suitable frame of mind!" the King answered.

"All right, come in!"

The Queen of Diamonds opened the door and led the way in. The party entered, but Tatewaki would have stopped cold if it wasn't for his uncle dragging him forward. "Oh my god," he mumbled as he looked upon the most beautiful woman in the world.

The White Queen stood before him in a gorgeous wedding gown. The dress was a soft off-white color and was made of silk and lace. It appeared to have two necklines – the first would have made the dress an off-the-shoulder gown that was cut to modestly show the Queen's generous bust. Above this false neckline, the fabric became a transparent lace and ran to just short of the of the Queen's collarbone. The transparent lace also ran down her arms. Embroidered silk covered from the Queen's bust to her hips where the skirt of the dress fanned out. The skirt consisted of more silk and was overlaid by more lace. She wore a stunning head piece with a veil that had yet to be pulled over her face. Her face had a light application of make-up, although one could have argued that she didn't need it.

Tatewaki was completely stunned. "You're b-beautiful…" he managed to stutter. The White Queen blushed modestly.

"She does clean up rather well, doesn't she," the King of Hearts agreed with a smirk. The Queen of Hearts doped slapped him for the comment.

"Don't get any ideas," the White King added with a mock warning. "She's already taken."

The White Queen raised her eyebrows at her husband. "Better make sure you appreciate me then," she replied smoothly. Then she beckoned to Tatewaki. The King of Spades half-dragged him forward. "Tatewaki Kuno," she addressed him gently. "You've seen this world your actions have brought you to. It is only here that the Blue Thunder can exist anymore. But here, you can be a king and live to no one expectations but your own. Here, you can carve your own reality and rule it. Isn't this what you want?" The King of Spades and the Red Queen tried to speak, but the White Queen hushed them with a gesture.

Tatewaki forced his voice to work: "I want my own world back."

"It's not *your* world. You're just one small piece of that world," the White Queen pushed back. "Others live and dream in that world also – and they are not subject to you. You've never been able to accept this. You haven't been able to accept another's will – their own decisions." She gestured at the King and Queen of Hearts.

Tatewaki followed her gesture and then turned to face her again. "I-I-I…" he started.

Suddenly the door to the room blew open and the Blue Thunder screamed: "SHE LIES! THEY ARE ALL MINE! HIM ESPECIALLY!" Tatewaki could only watch as the insane, slavering figure dived for him.

The King and Queen of Hearts each calmly raised their right hand and beams of energy flew from their palms to crash into the Blue Thunder. Their target was thrown against the back wall of the room and held upright by their force.

"Was that necessary?" the White Queen asked the Red Queen.

"You're a bit too gentle. He needs to see his choices. He needs to understand his madness," the Red Queen said firmly.

"STOP THAT AT ONCE!" the Blue Thunder yelled at the King and Queen of Hearts. "YOU'RE MINE!" The royal couple paid him no notice as they pinned their prisoner effortlessly.

Tatewaki looked at the very uneven contest. "He is hopelessly outclassed," he murmured. "And he can't even see it." He faced the White Queen again. "She's right," he said referencing the Red Queen. "He's mad… I'm mad. I can't stay this way. I can't stay here. I want to be real."

"The real world holds pain as well as joy," the White Queen warned. "Are you sure you can accept the pain?"

Tatewaki's face paled and he dropped his eyes, but he said: "I have to." Kodachi's words regarding Kasumi came back to him, and he finally understood what was needed. He raised his eyes and pleaded: "Heal me!"

The White Queen – the Shadow of the Healer Kasumi Tendo – responded: "As you wish." She cupped his chin in one hand and placed the other on his forehead.

Tatewaki threw his head back and howled. His head felt like it was going to explode. His body felt like it was caught in a light socket. He heard the Blue Thunder start to scream "NO!", but the scream seemed to shatter like glass midway through. That shattering was followed by an explosion, then a second, and then a chain of explosion, each one louder than the previous. The crescendo grew moment by moment.

Tatewaki screamed: "Akane!... Kodachi!... Ranma!… Toshio!.. Dad! – I'm so sorry!... Mother!... MOTHER!...MOM!"

With that Tatewaki's awareness shattered, and he knew no more…

* * *

Toshio Kuno could barely watch as Kasumi, Nari, and Tofu all knelt over Tatewaki's prone body. It wasn't that the sight upset him – it was that he could barely see past the bright white light emanating from the figures. Finally, Nari called out: "Enough, we got it! He's anchored again!" The light vanished and the dressing room returned to its normal brightness.

Tofu, who was dressed in his wedding tuxedo, turned to catch Kasumi, who almost toppled over. Akane helped the doctor guide his bride to a chair. Then the doc almost fell over except Ranma steadied him. Ranma helped the groom to sit on the floor next to Kasumi's chair. The doctor's eyes were bound with a clean cloth to prevent him from seeing his bride.

Nari still knelt by Tatewaki checking his pulse. She glanced at Tofu and Kasumi in their tired states and muttered: "Amateurs… You'll need to build up more stamina if you want to be world class healers."

"So says the immortal…" Tofu returned. Nari just smirked and went back to checking Tatewaki.

"Is he going to be all right?" Toshio Kuno asked.

Nari looked over at the Kuno elder. "Well," she started. "He's got a good shot at it. As you guessed, he's never gotten over his mother's death and he blames himself for it. How anyone could consider a one year old child responsible for anyone's death is beyond me, but you'll have to teach him the truth that he isn't. I see lots of counseling in his future. Be happy that we got the instability though – that's a rare thing to beat." (1)

"How rare?" Nabiki asked.

"It took three healers to do it, Nabiki," Tofu answered while still breathing hard. "And one of them was extraordinary." Nari smirked.

"The patient also has to agree that he is mad too," Kasumi added. "He has to want to be cured." She looked at Nari and asked: "How did you do that?"

Nari stood up. "Live long enough, and maybe you'll learn, child," she said as her shape changed and shrank. Now a small old woman stood there dressed in sack cloth. "Still, maybe you'll get the chance yet." She walked over to Kasumi who was wearing her wedding dress and picked up one of the young woman's hands in her own. "You did good, granddaughter." She stretched up and kissed Kasumi's forehead. Then Nari/Mara turned and dope–slapped Tofu. "Take care of her, idiot, or I'll hunt you down." The blind-folded man just gave her a short laugh.

Nari/Mara walked past Toshio (who was now kneeling by Tatewaki) without a word or glance, but she stopped in front of Ranma who was dressed in his tuxedo. She looked him up and down. "How the hell is Genma your sire?" she wondered out-loud.

"You knew Genma?" Ranma asked confused.

"I know Genma, young one. I know who he is, what he is, and where he is," she answered. "If you ever have occasion to speak with him, remind him old Mara never forgets. On the other hand, never mind. Do yourself a favor and never speak to him again." Nari/Mara pointed to Akane in her bridesmaid dress. "Meanwhile, take care of this one." Then Mara spoke to Akane as the old woman hooked a thumb at Ranma: "Same goes for you too." With that, Mara opened the door and left the room.

Nabiki walked to the door and looked out. "She's gone," she stated without surprise as she closed the door. Tofu just nodded his head. "Definitely a '10' on the weird old lady scale," Nabiki added.

"And may you never find out how weird," Toshio said while standing up. Then he took out a radio and spoke into it: "All teams: Target achieved. Let's clean up and get out of the way."

* * *

Ranma, Akane, and Nabiki followed Tatewaki's stretcher as it rolled out of the building. None of them could say why they did that. Maybe they just wanted to see the story to its end, even if they missed most of it.

The patient had shown some signs of coming around along the way. He hadn't spoken, but he met the eyes of his companions with recognition. Before the attendants placed his stretcher in the back of the ambulance, Tatewaki touched the arm of one man to stop him. "Hold up a minute," he asked in a rusty voice. As the men paused, he beckoned Nabiki, Akane, and Ranma to him. They came to him with Ranma and Akane walking over hand-in-hand. Kuno looked pointedly at their joined hands and then looked them both in the eyes. "I'm sorry," he said simply. "Be happy." They smiled and nodded.

Then Kuno looked at Nabiki. "I was a fool for not noticing you freshman year," he said. "I'm sorry for ignoring you and for missing my chance."

Nabiki looked surprised for a moment and then smiled. "Water under the bridge, Kuno-Baby," she told him. "Besides, we would have never gone the distance." She bent down and kissed his forehead.

"No," he agreed as he reached over and took her hand. "But it would have been fun anyway." They squeezed hands and let go. The attendants loaded Tatewaki in and closed the doors. Then they climbed in and drove off.

Nabiki watched the ambulance go. Then she turned and raised an eyebrow at Ranma and Akane. "How do you two deal with this empathy thing? It sort of sucks feeling sorry for that idiot."

Akane laughed and said: "If you can feel sorry for someone, you can also feel happy for someone; it sorts of balances out."

Nabiki shrugged her shoulders. "If you say so."

"And you can be happy that Kuno is finally getting the help he needs," Ranma added. "At least there will be one less lunatic running around this place."

As they all turned to walk back into the wedding hall, Nabiki moved between them and placed her arms about their waists. "All right, you have a point there. You two are the only lunatics I want around here," she teased.

* * *

A/N: Footnotes

(1) It was revealed in the story "The Final Binding" that Tatewaki's mother was killed by a drunk driver shortly after Kodachi was born. Tatewaki, Kodachi, and their father all blame themselves for her death, although nothing could be further than the truth. Kodachi has finally accepted the truth - hopefully Tatewaki will too.

* * *

A/N: I thought about adding some notes about Wonderland's Red King, but quickly decided there was another rabbit hole lurking there. If your really curious about him, Google "Dream of the Red King" and have fun. Either that or read the original stories on the web - they are not that long. :-)

I also thought about adding an epilogue featuring Nari and Tatewaki talking five months later, but it didn't quite work with the story, so we stop here. Maybe it will appear in the story "Solstice", but I have other stories to tell first.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story. I wanted start "The Wedding" (which will mesh a little with this story) before the end of the month, but the story is still incomplete. Hopefully, I can start telling it before the end of January.

Take care!


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